Food For Thought

Weight and Social Identity

2012-01-27T12:20:00.004-05:00

Psychology Today blogger, Dr. Pattie Thomas, wrote a very interesting article a few weeks ago that I wanted to be sure to mention. She examines the social identity of weight, in light of new research, and does so by conducting an interview with Dr. Mary Beth Asbury, a professor of Organizational Communication at Middle Tennessee State University who has been studying this! You can check out the original post here.

My favorite part of this article doesn't have as much to do with the central subject matter (even though its great) as it does with some suggestions that Dr. Asbury gives about 'fat talk.' See below.

DR. THOMAS: If you were to give suggestions to people about how to speak of bodies, what would you suggest?

DR. ASBURY: Everything can be summed up in one sentence: "Be nice to everyone at all times." But, more specifically, do not talk about weight or food. You should not label foods as "good" or "bad," nor should you label weights as "good" or "bad." The more emphasis we put on weight and food, the more likely we are to build up the importance of these items in our lives. This leads to us seeing food and weight as "battles" that we feel we can never overcome.

I think Dr. Asbury has it right. I like her summary: "be nice to everyone at all times!" While it is unrealistic to think that we would never talk about food, I think that there are better ways to talk about it than others. Trying not to be judgmental about food, and not making it a focus really helps food and weight not become more important than they are. Someone once told me that food should be neutral- like a toothbrush. A toothbrush isn't good or bad, it just is. Same with food! Of course its not that simple or easy in a culture saturated with messages about weight as connected to beauty and self-worth. [Or if you struggle with an eating disorder.] But as Dr. Asbury said, when we don't place as much importance on food, we limit its capacity to become a battle.

2012-01-21T23:39:00.001-05:00

Much to the chagrin of most people I know, I have not jumped on the Pinterest bandwagon (yet). I keep hearing 1) how great it is, and 2) that it is a major time suck. Soo, I'm trying to avoid it for now- with one mini exception. I have been a little under the weather today, so I've spent the majority of my day/night sidelined; and among catching up on other things (Friday Night Lights marathon and lots of Words with Friends included), I perused through some of the inspirational quotes on Pinterest. Apparently you can see some of the images just by doing a google search without actually joining ;).

Anyways- I thought these particular quotes below were particularly encouraging for one reason or another- and I hope you do too! Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Happy 2012 :)

2012-01-18T22:39:00.001-05:00

Hi friends. Happy New Year!! I have been a little MIA lately on my little blog! I will get back to more regular blogging soon- I have been juggling a lot so far in 2012- and am very excited about this year! In the meantime, I thought I would post a few links to some recent articles that might be of interest! The third article below is a great one for this time of year!! Happy reading :)

The Truth Behind Common Eating Disorder Myths by Kenneth L. Weiner

New National Report Looks at Disparity Between Sizes of Models and Real Women

The Fat on Dieting in the New Year by Jane Shure

COLORed Folks-- Share Your Shame, Fight the Stigma

National Human Trafficking Awareness Day

2012-01-11T12:52:00.002-05:00

Not too long ago, I read a book that impacted me more than any book I've read in a really long time- in fact, maybe ever (with just a few exceptions). Rachel Lloyd's Girls Like Us is a book that explores the commercial sexual exploitation of young girls and teenagers domestically. While I have read about and learned about the trafficking that happens abroad, I had no idea how prevalent it was in the US. This book really opened my eyes, broke my heart, and made it clear to me that we have a responsibility to do something, no matter how big or small.

If you are interested, I have attached a preview of her book below so that you can check it out yourself.

Browse Inside this book

Get this for your site

In honor of today being National Human Trafficking Awareness Day, I would encourage you to engage with this issue in some way.

Here are a few ideas:

Pick up a copy of one of the following books (or find one on Amazon.com that interests you- there are many!) and start reading-

Girls Like Us by Rachel Lloyd
Not For Sale: The Return of the Global Slave Trade--and How We Can Fight it by David Batstone
God in a Brothel: An Undercover Journey into Sex Trafficking and Rescue by Daniel Walker

Consider raising or donating funds to an organization that works to rescue people from slavery- International Justice Mission, Not for Sale, World Relief, GEMS (Girls Educational and Mentoring Services)... to name a few.
Watch the documentary Very Young Girls, which documents the buying and selling of young girls. I have not seen this, but can only imagine how powerful and tough it would be to watch.
If you live locally in Raleigh or the surrounding areas, you can sign up to attend a workshop to learn more about the trafficking industry- with the Salvation Army of Wake County on January 20th &21st. For more information, follow this link.
Another local opportunity happening March 24- World Relief Stop Human Trafficking Walk/Run. This will be happening in Durham- for more info, follow this link (scroll down and you'll see it!).

Looking Back- 2011

2011-12-29T22:21:00.000-05:00

It's hard to believe that 2011 is coming to a close. I saw this video (below) a few weeks ago that google made [brilliant advertising] and have watched it several times. I guess I'm kind of a sucker for a good montage, especially when its paired with a good tune. Anyways, this little video does a great job of re-capping 2011 in a nutshell- check it out below.

In honor of a new year, I thought I would do a quick re-cap of some of my favorite posts from 2011. I have posted a few links below to some of the ones that I have written over the that were the most significant to me, for one reason or another! If you haven't had a chance to read some of them, here is another chance! And if you have, enjoy the video above, ... one more time :).

Bzzz
Girls on the Run Re-Cap
Gratitude and Girls on the Run

Bullying in the Media
Dispelling Eating Disorder Myths

The Children's Malnutrition Center
Recovery+Support for Parents

DVF, Imperfection and Beauty
Raleigh NEDA Walk Re-Cap

On Health
Mixed Messages

Here's wishing you all a safe and happy 2012. I am hopeful that 2012 is going to be a great year!!!

Merry Christmas! : )

2011-12-24T14:03:00.001-05:00

Over the next few days, I hope that you are able to enjoy the reason for the season- spending quality time with family and loved ones, and experiencing gratitude.

When it comes to Christmas and food, treat it like any other day! Take time to eat meals like normal, making adjustments if/when necessary. Try to focus on conversation or other things that are going on around you- this is a special time of year, and being consumed with anxiety is not a fun thing. Breathe, pray, journal, chat with a friend. Most of all, I hope that you are blessed and enjoy this holiday season!

Merry Christmas!! : )

Giving.

2011-12-19T14:59:00.003-05:00

One of my favorite qualities in others is that of generosity. When we think about generosity, we tend to think about finances, but there are so many ways to be generous. You can be generous with your time, your resources/belongings, your talents. This year, as we inch closer and closer towards the holidays, I would encourage you to consider how you can be generous towards others. Especially as we are at a time of the year when giving and receiving is on the minds of many.

I think that giving others gifts is a nice way to show people that you care- and it is fun to be creative with how you do that, especially if you have trouble coming up with gifts for people year after year! If you are having trouble finding someone just the right gift, if you are feeling the time crunch or you want to do something a little different this year, below are some alternative ways that you can be generous.

International Justice Mission- You can give gifts of hope, rescue, transformation, restoration for orphans, widows, former slaves and those who have been trafficked.
Heifer International- You can gift animals (flocks of chicks, llamas, goats, etc) to families and children to help provide for them, while also helping them to learn self-reliance.
Kiva- Giving a Kiva gift certificate provides someone with the opportunity to help alleviate poverty through microfinance projects. Read more about it here.
Good Old Fashioned Donations!! You can simply donate money in someone's name to an organization that is important to you- National Eating Disorders Association, Compassion International, Girls on the Run, .. there are soo many out there to choose from.

Speaking of generosity, here is another idea for you in light of the holidays (or anytime of the year)- anonymously donating to strangers, like this sweet little story. Happy giving! :)

2011-12-15T11:55:00.001-05:00

"You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful."- Amy Bloom

I love that. Amy Bloom wrote a great piece featured online (here) entitled "Dear Every Woman I Know, Including Me" that I would highly recommend if you are in need of a body image pick-me-up. Copy and pasted below, it is worth a read!

A few years ago, I was at a lunch for the launch of a TV show called How to Look Good Naked. (Do I need to say that the host was a slim gay man and the soon-to-be-almost-naked were all women? Can we even imagine a show in which men try to improve their appearance before the big reveal in the boudoir?) The middle-aged woman sitting next to me almost spat out her white wine. "How to look good naked?" she said. "Wear clothes!"

I wish that helped. But after 58 years of being female, I've come to the conclusion that a healthy, positive body image is hard to find, and neither caftans nor liposuction nor photoshopping is the answer.

This seems to be one of those puzzles you can tackle from any angle, a Rubik's cube of bad feelings, unhealthy attitudes, and unforeseen consequences. (It's great that we shifted away from the preceding centuries' proscription against women exercising and getting sweaty. But who knew we'd wind up in a world in which we're expected to weight train ourselves back into "bikini ready" shape six weeks after giving birth?)

This is not a tirade against the tabloids or the beauty industry. The tabloids produce crap, but people (mostly women) buy it: pictures of the overweight (they've let themselves go!), the enhanced and shapely (you, too, can look like this if you eat garlic and grapefruit!), and the shame-on-her-for-getting-too-skinny (as if no tabloid editor can imagine how a six-foot starlet came to think 130 pounds is obese). The beauty industry sees opportunity and shoots for it. The question is, how do we keep ourselves from being the opportunity, from seeing the mirror—and food, and other women—as the enemy? And how do we make all this stuff less terrible for our daughters, our nieces, the 19-year-old who feels her life will be ruined without breast implants?

I don't expect little girls and teenagers to fend for themselves in this matter; we have to save them and—just as if we're on a plunging airplane—we have to start by saving ourselves. We need to make friends with the mirror. Even if it's DIY aversive therapy, in which you look at yourself in the mirror for one minute one day, then two the next, then three, you have to be able to bear the sight of yourself. (Must you bend over a compact and closely examine the drooping underside of your chin? No.) You cannot be a healthy person, let alone hope for healthy children, if you sigh and moan every time you encounter your own image, eat a cookie, or see an airbrushed supermodel on a billboard. Even if it amounts to wholesale pretending—go pretend. Walk around pretending to be a woman who likes her body. Pretend you think your thighs are not disgusting appurtenances but normal, flesh-covered limbs that help you get from place to place. Likewise your not-so-taut arms and not-so-flat tummy. Because every step toward self-love you take, and every inch of confidence you give someone's daughter, makes the world a better place.

So stop. Stop talking to the girls in your life about "healthy eating" if what you actually mean is, "Your 11-year-old stomach isn't flat and it freaks me out." They will hear what you mean; they will not believe a dinner of four grilled shrimp and a spoonful of blueberries is really healthy. (Psychology research shows that even 5-year-old girls know a diet when they see it.) Stop criticizing other women's bodies for sport or to soothe yourself.

And start. Start admiring aloud the things you really do admire. Show what you love and value. If you think Marta of Brazil is fantastic, put up her poster and get a group together to watch women's soccer. If Ruth Bader Ginsburg or Hillary Clinton or Aung San Suu Kyi is your hero, say so.

I take these small steps myself—most days—not out of virtue, but out of vanity. My hobby is watching people, and what I see is that even the most Botoxed, lipo'd, lifted woman cannot conceal herself. If you hate yourself, it shows through every cream and cure there is. Until we stop trying to exorcise our own imperfect selves, driving out normal physical traits as if they were signs of pathology, there will always be some misery in the eyes that nothing can hide.

You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.

Amy Bloom is the author, most recently, of Where the God of Love Hangs Out (Random House).

Girls on the Run Re-Cap!!

2011-12-12T12:23:00.001-05:00

One of the highlights of the last 12 weeks of my life was my involvement with Girls on the Run. Hands down. I have posted about my involvement with Girls on the Run a few times over the course of the last few months (here, here, here) and have done so for many reasons! First- to raise awareness about the program (which you can read more about here)! Second- I am all about promoting healthy, strong character in girls (a hallmark of GOTR). And third- I have had SO much fun with the girls I coached this season and am so proud of them for the girls that they are growing up to be... keeping that to myself is no fun when I can share it with all of you!

I thought I would re-cap this season by sharing a few things that my experience with the girls reinforced. And because I love lists, here we go..

We are capable of doing so much more than we think!

So many days, the girls would surprise themselves with the things that they were capable of doing. While this was true with their running and community service project, this is true of most things in life! I think we can doubt our abilities at times, and there is no need for that. We are much stronger than we think we are.

It is possible to have fun doing just about anything.

There was a lot of laughter during our practices. Whether we were stretching, playing games, even learning about bullying, positive thinking, or gossiping- these girls had fun and enjoyed (most) everything simply by being themselves, being open to the other girls, and having a hunger to learn and grow.

You can't judge a book by its cover.

Some of the girls had first impressions of each other that weren't altogether accurate. That goes for us coaches as well :-). After spending time with the girls, and the girls spending time with each other, it was pretty remarkable how well they all got along and appreciated each other! We had 14 girls and by the end of the 12 weeks, they were hugging each other and goofing around like old friends.

Happiest girls are the prettiest girls.

This one is fairly self-explanatory. But contentment is such a beautiful quality. Being content makes you shine on the inside and outside.

Building strong friendships helps us make it through the ups and downs.

Every so often, one of the girls would have a tough day at school, would show up to GOTR and be in a little bit of a funk. Having the other girls listen, support and make them laugh and smile usually helped lift their spirits. Likewise, when one of the girls was excited about something, the excitement was contagious amongst the group.

It's all about attitude.

No matter what we were doing each practice, often the quality of our time together was contingent upon the girls' attitudes! When they had good, positive attitudes, we all had SO much fun. I think that if we can focus on what we can control (our attitudes!) then we have a much better chance at being effective, no matter the task.

I love our group of girls, and feel so blesseed after having had this experience. If you are interested in volunteering with Girls on the Run in any capacity, find out more here.

Help for the Holidays!

2011-12-09T15:54:00.001-05:00

The holidays can be a tough time for those who are struggling with food and eating disorders. As we inch closer to the holidays, there are more holiday parties and special food occasions that can cause anxiety and trigger eating disorder thoughts and behaviors. Below are a few posts that I have written in the past about the holidays that might be helpful during this season-

Liana Rosenman and Kristiana Saffran of Project Heal are currently featured on NEDA's teen site 'Proud2BMe' in a video (below) with a few tips. This might be a helpful video for you, so check it out- it is called "Surviving the Holidays." :)

H&M

2011-12-08T16:00:00.000-05:00

So, apparently retailer H&M has been matching real models' heads with fake bodies in their advertising images. People seem to be pretty shocked about this! How could H&M do such a thing? Maybe I'm the odd one out, but I wasn't very surprised when I heard about this. Most of what we see in print has been severely doctored and altered. Is this really that shocking? My intention isn't to minimize the detriment of such actions, but when it comes to images in magazines and other print, so much of what we see on a regular basis is just as fake.

While I'm clearly not supportive of this kind of advertising, I'm also not going to say I won't ever shop at H&M again. If I boycotted H&M, then I would have to stop shopping altogether. What ad campaigns these days don't photoshop images and digitally alter them? I'm not saying they shouldn't stop this practice- because I definitely think that they should! But rather than making H&M the villains (so many photographers/retailers/etc are guilty), perhaps this gives us an opportunity to look at the trend of altering photos at all! What does this trend say about how we view the female body, and the unrealistic demands that are placed upon women as a result??

Happy December!

2011-12-01T13:16:00.001-05:00

Today marks the first day of the last month of the year. So crazy! And so exciting. I may or may not be doing a little bit of this around my office today.

Today also marks World Aids Day. I wrote a post last year (that was very special to me) about one of my best friends, who at the time was an OBGYN resident, and her experience with an HIV-positive needle stick- take a minute to check it out here.

The theme of this year's World Aid's Day is 'Getting to Zero' with a focus on "zero new HIV infections. zero discrimination. zero AIDS-related deaths."

What can you do?? Become educated about HIV and AIDS prevention. Support efforts to end human trafficking and commercial sex exploitation. Read up, donate funds, raise awareness.

Here are some links to check out for more info:
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention- HIV/AIDS Factsheets

The One Campaign

World Health Organization (WHO)- HIV Global Report 2011

2011-11-30T10:33:00.001-05:00

"Of all the liars in the world sometimes the worst are our own fears." - Rudyard Kipling

I can't take credit for finding this quote, BUT I thought I would pass it on. It really struck me. This Kipling quote reminded me of a little catchphrase I've heard before about fear:

F.E.A.R. = False Evidence Appearing Real

I love this little acronym because I think it applies to recovery from an eating disorder, but it applies to so much more. Fear can really limit our ability to see things as they are- and it can prevent us from living a life of freedom. So many of us are walking around in fear each day- whether it is fear of gaining weight, fear of food, fear of what others think, fear of failure, fear of not living up to expectations from others or yourself... The list goes on. Something that gives me solace: "Perfect love casts out fear." - I John 4: 18.

I received a book from Thom Rutledge that he wrote a few years back called Embracing Fear- How to Turn What Scares Us Into Our Greatest Gift. In the foreword of the book, Gavin de Becker writes the following about fear-- two important points to consider when you are experiencing it:

True fear is a signal in the presence of danger. It is always based upon something we perceive, something in our environment or our circumstance.
Unwarranted fear is always based upon our memory or our imagination.

One example I often use with clients is that of a snake. The fear that arises when we see a snake serves to protect us from the threat of harm- ie- a snake bite (or worse!). When we experience an unwarranted fear, what is that fear protecting us from?? It might be beneficial to consider the acronym F.E.A.R. and ask yourself what false evidence might be appearing real to you. Easier said than done, but a helpful tool in slaying fear that can corrode your actions, your heart, your life.

To find out more about his book, follow this link.

P.S. :)

2011-11-24T12:21:00.001-05:00

I don't usually post twice in one day- but thought that these articles (links below) might be really helpful and encouraging for those of you who are struggling with an eating disorder- and need a little encouragement and support as you face the day. For more, check out the articles below, taken from the Huffington Post.

Thanksgiving With An Eating Disorder: How to Make it Easier by Sunny Gold

Five Tips For Thanksgiving When An Eating Disorder is At The Table by Laura Collins Lyster-Mensh

Giving Thanks!

2011-11-24T11:47:00.001-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving!! I hope you are able to take some time out today to reflect on all that you are thankful for- no matter how great or small. I know at my Thanksgiving table we will be playing my favorite game- I will be asking everyone to go around and share the things that they are thankful for. Yes, I am that girl.

Below are some posts that I have written in the past that you might be interested in checking out. Enjoy :)

Past posts on Thanksgiving:

Turkey Day Anxiety: Part 1

Turkey Day Anxiety: Part 2

Past posts on Gratitude:

2011-11-22T08:57:00.001-05:00

I saw something really mean this morning on the news about Christina Aguilera- poor girl can't stay out of the news lately! Apparently, she is being criticized all over the blogosphere and elsewhere for the outfit that she wore while performing at the American Music Awards on Sunday. People have been commenting on her weight, and suggesting that she might be pregnant. First of all, how is this news?? It's too bad that as a woman, she can't just do what she was born to do- perform- and not get flack about what she chooses to wear, her heels, dress, body etc. I'll be the first to say that as a female, I have fun picking out my clothes and think it's important to be professional, however- it would be nice if appearance didn't have the power to eclipse one's talent or job in our society.

The other thought I had about this story is related to bullying. One of the lessons we did this season in Girls on the Run was about bullying. This is a major problem amongst children and teens-- the accessibility of technology and the internet has really increased the span of this issue. It seems that we bully people publicly in the media- and it is pretty widely acceptable, so much so that we barely bat an eye. And then we tell our children that it's not nice to call other people names, or to make fun of what they wear, etc. It seems a little inconsistent. In no way do I want to minimize the severity of bullying- we have all heard some awful stories I'm sure (here, here, here). But we can only expect children to follow our example, so maybe we need to re-evaluate the example that we are setting. Maybe when we stop calling people 'fat' and 'ugly,' our children and teens will stop as well.

Things to Know About Eating Disorders...

2011-11-17T16:35:00.000-05:00

This week, I spoke to education students at Meredith College about eating disorders. I love educating people about eating disorders, especially those who will be educating others, working with lots of young men and women, and influencing them in profound ways. I was asked to share what I perceive as the most important things to know about eating disorders. Since I think it's allll important, I had a tough time narrowing down my list, but I chose to address some common myths. There was time alotted for questions at the end, and there were many great questions that allowed me to share even more.

The title of this post may be a little misleading, as I thought I would mention (very briefly) with you just 4 of the key points I shared.

Eating disorders are not a choice. You don't choose them, they choose you. But, you do have to choose to recover.
Eating disorders are not caused by one thing- parents, fashion industry, media. EDs are multifactorial, rooted deeply in genetics, and triggered by environmental, emotional, social, and psychological factors.
Anorexia Nervosa is the deadliest mental illness; it claims more lives than any other mental illness.
You cannot tell by looking at someone whether or not they have an eating disorder. Eating disorders do not discriminate- they affect males and females, people of all races and ethnicities, and those of all shapes and sizes.

For some of you, this might be new information, and for some of you, this may not be. What myths are out there about eating disorders that you want to debunk?

The Help- Part 2!

2011-11-13T21:56:00.001-05:00

I just wrote about the movie The Help (here). I wanted to post a really sweet clip from the movie that touched me. Yes, it's still out in theatres. No, I didn't pirate this clip :) - it was already on YouTube, I promise. Anyways, Abilene, the maid of one of the families in this movie speaks affirmations to the little girl she takes care of. These affirmations?

"You is kind, you is smart, you is important."

What I love about this set of affirmations is that they are not appearance driven. These are traits that go beyond a little girl's looks, and help promote self-esteem that is not contingent upon outward beauty. This reminded me of an article written by Lisa Bloom, awhile back in the Huffington Post that I mentioned in a prior post (here). The article, entitled "How to Talk to Little Girls" is amazing- def worth the read. Check it out here!

The Help

2011-11-10T10:38:00.000-05:00

Have you had a chance to see the movie The Help yet? If not, get yourself to a movie theatre STAT. This is by far one of the best movies I have seen all year, and I would encourage you to see it. It's still in theaters-- I saw it for the second time this past weekend (the first time that I saw it was back in August).

The Help is a movie that while being fantastic and entertaining, evoked deep sadness in me. If you haven't read the book or seen the movie, I don't want to give too much away- but seeing such racial inequality and injustice depicted, which occurred in the US in the very recent past, is deeply upsetting. (I believe that racism and racial equality still need attention- but this blog is not about that.) I watched the movie and was dumbfounded (yes, I did take history classes and know a lot about the civil rights movement), yet film has the power to communicate in intense ways that sometimes written text does not. I had a thought that I have been having difficulty shaking off. People in the 50's and 60's were treating other human beings in ways that were appalling, unjust and downright ugly. Most people accepted this as the status quo, and didn't see it as ugly and unjust until years later. I immediately started thinking about the injustices that are going on right now in the US and in our world that we might be handling in similar ways.

The one area of injustice relevant to this blog that I've been thinking about (and let me be clear when I say that I am not drawing comparisons but simply highlighting oppression) is the oppression of people as result of the media's influence. While strides are certainly being made, and people are working to expose the mixed messages we see and hear on an hourly basis, I believe that these messages and cultural beliefs have been so deeply engrained in us that we aren't even aware of all the ways we are impacted (and oppressed). I volunteer with young girls and see and hear them do things that baffle me at times. Not because they are inappropriate or ugly to each other, but because they have already adopted fat talk, unrealistic ideals of beauty, etc, even at the age of 8. I recently asked my mom if she remembered whether or not I ever talked about being fat at that age, and she doesn't remember me ever saying anything bad about my body at that point. It seems that culturally speaking, the influence of the media has extended to reach children and those of a much younger age. I believe that technology has created a greater accessibility to media, and that has a great deal to do with it.

I hope that in a decade or two from now, we will have the hindsight to see more clearly the ways that the media has oppressed women. In the meantime, to consider how we might become more aware of these messages (and their deception) is crucial in order for change to occur. Media and technology can certainly be used for good-- the idea here isn't to trash or villainize the media. The idea is to create a healthier, more discerning relationship with it and take steps towards that end. Simply having a conversation about TV/radio ads you see or hear, or unhealthy comments you hear people making is a great place to start.

In The News...

2011-11-06T22:47:00.003-05:00

Hope everyone had a great weekend and enjoyed an extra hour of sleep! Things in my world have been a little busy-- but I have been working on some posts that I am eager to share. Check back this week for more!!

In the meantime, below are a few eating disorder headlines that have been in the news recently. You can follow the links below to read more...

1. In young children (ages 5-12), eating disorders are more common than diabetes (source)

2. Men struggle with binge eating, too.. (source)

3. Eating Disorders and Insurance- The Fight! (source)

4. Edreferral.com, a leading source for eating disorder professional referrals, is now available as an app and can be accessed on your smartphone. (source)

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T16:07:00.001-04:00

Today's scary Halloween tale comes to us care of Ricky's Costume Shop. This isn't new news, but I thought I would take the opportunity to share, considering the holiday. You can check out the gruesome story here about a disturbing Halloween costume--Anna Rexia.

The moral of this ghostly tale? We know we still have more work to do on the education front when it comes to eating disorders. The good news? Ricky's responded quickly, pulled the costume off the market and apologized...

Hope you all enjoy your day- be safe! :-)

Bzzzzzzz

2011-10-26T23:02:00.000-04:00

"I'm not smart enough." "I can't do this." "She is so much better than I am." "I wish I were prettier." "I feel so fat."

Have you ever had thoughts like these??

I'm pretty sure we can all relate to having had thoughts similar to these at one time or another. For some of us, these negative thoughts can be a bit more persistent. In light of the recent celebration that was Fat Talk Free Week, a lesson that came up a few weeks ago at Girls on the Run, and a great article I read yesterday on fat talk, another post on conquering negativity and self-defeating thoughts seemed appropriate.

Girls on the Run is one of the things that I look forward to each week. I love the chance to spend time with these determined, smart, silly girls in my group! One of my favorite Girls on the Run lessons we have done so far this season was one a few weeks ago that educated the girls about negative self-talk. We spent some time talking about negative thoughts, and then learned/practiced how to re-frame them. This is something that I often do with my clients! The really fun part was that the girls came up with a noise to use whenever they hear someone fat-talking, or using negative words about themselves (or others) while with the group. They couldn't decide if they liked making 'quacking' noises or 'buzzing' noises better- ducks or bees :). So we let them use both. Imagine 15 8-12 year olds, bzzzz-ing and quacking at the top of their lungs, practicing how to respond to negative self-talk while loving every minute of it. It was fun.

What I love about this idea of responding to negativity with noise is the intentionality of it. So often, people ask how they are ever going to change their thinking patterns... the negative thoughts can feel so overwhelming. This is true- they can feel very overwhelming, especially considering that our thoughts impact how we feel about ourselves, and how we feel about ourselves impacts how we act and behave! Our thoughts create a ripple effect. Because thoughts are automatic, we tend to feel discouraged when these little negative thoughts pop up- especially when we are trying so hard to be positive! The first step though is to become aware of these thoughts as they pop up, so that you might be able to replace them with more positive, encouraging and most of all, truthful thoughts! This idea of responding with noise is a great idea because it is very purposeful, and it is something that is memorable. While you don't have to 'bzzz' at yourself (you can if you want to though!), maybe you can brainstorm and pick an intentional way of responding to your negative thoughts, so that you have a greater awareness of them and can act to re-frame and make them more positive! Some people like to write their negative thoughts down, and re-frame them via journaling. Then when those negative thoughts appear, they can use their 'go-to' re-framed positive thought(s), and replace! The important thing is that you find a method that works for you. Most of all- don't get discouraged. Working to change negative thoughts takes time. Change doesn't happen overnight. Be patient with the process, and if you are having trouble managing the negative thoughts, consider seeking counseling!

Love Your Body Day!

2011-10-19T14:08:00.000-04:00

Guess what today is?? It's Love Your Body Day!! (hosted by the NOW Foundation- National Organization for Women). I read something this morning that really impacted me, and I felt like it was important to share, especially in light of today's Body Holiday:). End Fat Talk posted this on their facebook page today:

We asked Muffy Davis, Athlete and Inspirational Speaker, Stanford, what advice she would offer to other women about liking themselves inside and out. Here's what she said:

"My mom told me when I was 16, right after I became paralyzed, some advice that has helped me throughout my life. She told me that I am not my legs, who I am and my value as a person is not determined by my physical body but by my spirit. And she told me that while my body may be broken, my spirit was perfect and whole! That was one of the most important bits of advice she has passed on to me and I would love to share that with every woman. WE are much more than our physical shells, our spirits are perfect and ready to shine!"

Muffy's attitude and spirit are exactly what we celebrate today. We are not defined by our physical bodies, and yet, when I read this, I can't help but be reminded how often I take my body for granted! Our bodies serve many very important functions, and I think the media images that we see betray our belief that our bodies are not just for appearances sake. In honor of this day, make a list- either on a piece of paper, or just a mental one- of the top 5 things you are thankful that your body can do. Rather than beating yourself up over what you would like to change about your body, focus on the positive, and focus on what you love! And don't forget-- this is something that you can do everyday, not just on Love Your Body Day :).

This post is part of the 2011 Love Your Body Day Blog Carnival, which you can check out by following this link.

Are You A Life-Giver??

2011-10-18T20:50:00.002-04:00

As I mentioned in my last post, Fat Talk Free Week is upon us! It officially began yesterday. I have posted in the past about FTFW (here, here, here, here, here and here- haha) and believe this week provides a special opportunity to bring awareness to the importance of eliminating fat talk!! For those of you who are new to FTFW, here is a video which provides a little bit more info.

If you skip over the video (it's worth watching, I promise!!), what you need to know first is what fat talk is! Fat talk consists of comments that focus on our bodies, ourselves or others in a negative light. In fact, fat talk can even transcend body talk and can really be any old negative comment you make about yourself. Examples of fat talk: "I feel fat"... "I need to lose __ #of pounds" ... "She should not be wearing that" ... "You look good, have you lost weight?"... "My butt looks huge." ... Sound familiar??

When I was at church on Sunday, the pastor was talking about how we can choose to be people who give life to others. That really resonated with me, and I believe that when we interact with people, we have an opportunity to encourage and inspire-- which are things that give life! We can be life-givers with our words and our actions. In light of Fat Talk Free Week, I was thinking about how we have the power to be life-givers by choosing our words carefully and filling others with encouraging and positive thoughts (life!) instead of negative ones- whether those thoughts deal with our bodies or other things. I know that I want to be someone who gives life to others, that after someone has spent time with me, he or she feels encouraged, refreshed, uplifted. I don't want to be negative in a way that causes other people to question or doubt themselves because of the comments I might be making about me or my body. I think women often bond by bashing their bodies to each other-- this only fuels negative feelings and actions, and it doesn't produce a spirit of encouragement!

The point? Try to eliminate fat talk from your dialogue- whether its an internal dialogue or in your daily conversations with others. Choose to be a life-giver, choose to be someone who makes others feel more alive and full after having spent time around you, simply because of your attitude and how you use your words. If you are interested in signing Fat Talk Free Week's pledge, follow this link.

2011-10-15T17:03:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite parts about blogging is connecting with my readers. I get some really great emails from some pretty great people. Just this week, one of my readers sent me an email about an article she had read- one that I missed. I'm so glad she brought it to my attention. It's pretty alarming.

The front page of USA Today's lifetime section boasted the following stats-

"USA Today Snapshot: Medical providers rank parent-child health discussions by importance:

Weight= 90%

Safe Sex= 73%

Cigarette Smoking= 73%

Drug Use= 72%

Alcohol= 68%"

Maybe there wouldn't be as many STD's and teen pregnancies if safe sex discussions were prioritized as highly as weight. These stats are really reflective of the culture at large- weight is important, and it really, really matters. It is important to be healthy yes, and it is important that we know how to care for ourselves and for our bodies. There is certainly a place for good health. However, it is a little shocking to see that medical providers value weight discussions over safe sex, drug use, alcohol and cigarette smoking! This is a good reality check, right in time for Fat Talk Free Week which is approaching right around the corner.

I read a really amazing blog post the other day that I tweeted- (I just recently jumped back on the twitter wagon again- if you're interested, you can follow me here for ED related articles, info, quotes, etc. I don't get too crazy with twitter, but it's been fun to connect). Anyways- here is the link to the blog I mentioned. Below is an excerpt:

I think that one of the most damaging and erroneous messages that we are given by society is that unless you’re thin, you will never be enough. Sure you won a Grammy for your first CD and an Oscar for your first film, but are you thin? I understand that you are the governor of a state and that people want you to run for President, but are you thin? You’re thin now so we expect you to maintain that obsessively so that you are never not thin. You eat nourishing foods and move your body regularly, but are you thin? You’re a great mother but are you thin? You’re a successful business person but are you thin? You’re 4 years old but are you thin? You’re 90 years old but are you thin? You cured cancer but are you thin?

Enough.

You are already enough. Your intrinsic value is already beyond measure. And you will not be more valuable if there is less of you or less valuable if there is more of you.

Isn't that great? I love that. To read more follow this link. Hope everyone is having a great weekend! :)

World Mental Health Day!

2011-10-10T10:45:00.001-04:00

Today, Monday, October 10, marks World Mental Health Day. The World Health Organization (WHO) created this day as an opportunity to increase awareness about mental health, especially as the lack of attention that mental illness receives around the world interferes with people being properly treated. Psych Central, a great psychology resource online, has encouraged bloggers to get involved and promote understanding and awareness via a blogging party! I'm all for a blogging party, especially on a Monday:) Fun times.

Back in May, I wrote about National Mental Health Counseling Week and shared some stats with you. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), 1 in 4 American adults ages 18 and up suffer from a diagnosable mental illness in any given year- 26.2% of the country's population, to be exact. What this means is that it is likely that either you or someone that you know and love dearly has been touched by mental illness. Beyond the US, statistics from the World Health Organization (here) indicate that the resources available to treat people all over the world are inadequate. That goes for the US as well as abroad.

In the field of eating disorders, many strides are being made daily as it relates to education and raising awareness. If you look back, even recently in the media, Yoplait Yogurt pulling ads that were triggering and insensitive to viewers was a huge step in acknowledging the complexity of eating disorders, and that dieting can and does trigger EDs in some people. Communities all over the country have been participating in National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) Walks to raise awareness and funds to support continued research. You can read a re-cap of the Raleigh NEDA Walk here.

The conversations that are happening today are so important, because change comes out of awareness, dialogue and then action. Just like recovery from an eating disorder, awareness is not enough to bring about change. One doesn't choose an eating disorder, but one must choose to recover from the eating disorder. Action is required for healing to take place, and often this is the toughest part! In thinking about World Mental Health Day, whether you or someone you know has struggled with an eating disorder, anxiety, depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, bipolar disorder, or another illness, what action might you take to raise awareness today?

To check out the blogging party going on today over at Psych Central, follow this link!

Gratitude and Girls on the Run!!!

2011-10-07T14:21:00.000-04:00

I often write about gratitude on my blog because it is something that I believe is a very important and crucial practice... so I was really excited when I found out that one of the lessons for this week's Girls on the Run practice was all about gratitude!! I have alluded in recent posts to my volunteer commitment, and I couldn't be more excited about it. Along with two other coaches, I am leading a group of 16 girls (3rd-5th graders) two times a week through a character building curriculum that is designed to promote self-esteem, self-respect and confidence. Volunteering is something that I value for the way it promotes self-esteem, a sense of self and of course service to others:), and while I have had to make some adjustments in order to fit these weekly practices into my schedule, it has been beyond worth the sacrifice! These girls are fabulous in so many ways, and remind me how important it is for us to encourage and support girls from a young age in order to protect them from the messages that they pick up around them concerning what it means to be a girl, what it means to be beautiful, etc..

On Tuesday, we discussed how important it is to reflect on the things that we are grateful for in our lives, and why its so important to live with an attitude of gratitude. No matter how old you are or what you have lived through and experienced, this is one lesson that always seems to be relevant :)
Some things the girls were thankful for:

Family, Friends, Pets
Lunch and Recess at School :-)
Doctors and Dentists
Clothes
The list may have been more extensive (and funny), but for the sake of this post, I won't include all of it!

Some things that I am
grateful for:

Life!! Stephanie, my new friend and fellow coach, is pregnant & the girls wanted to see if they could feel her baby kick. We're all so blessed to be alive. I know that I take that for granted- and when I remember how fortunate I am to be alive, I start to appreciate things around me more, the people around me and the moments in my life that might otherwise pass me by.

Fun!

How cute are these two? Olivia and Adeline are two of our Girls on the Run and got a little sassy with the camera. (Don't worry, parents signed photo releases at the beginning of the season!!) I'm so thankful for laughter and fun to lighten things up. While laughter may not always be the best medicine, I think it comes pretty close :-)

Challenges! Ok- so this one might sound a little odd. But I believe that the challenging times we go through shape us in important ways, teach us about our inner strength and beauty, and provide us opportunities to develop character. Challenges aren't easy, which is why they're called challenges:) But without the challenges, we might not appreciate the fun, carefree times as much without them! Whatever challenges you face today, remember that you are not alone, that you are strong, and are alive- practicing gratitude can help you to get through the tough moments.

I am so thankful for the opportunity that I've had over the last 4 weeks to work with such amazing girls, and look forward to the next 8 weeks!! If you are interested in learning more about Girls on the Run, or are interested in finding out more about volunteer opportunities if you live in or around Raleigh NC, follow this link. Girls on the Run was founded by Molly Barker in Charlotte, NC, but there are chapters all over the country. To find one in your neighborhood, follow this link.

Below is a little video that I thought would be fun to leave you with- this isn't my Girls on the Run team, but this clip features different teams from a few years back. It's very sweet- you should check it out! :)

Summer Reading Check-In... :-)

2011-10-03T16:36:00.003-04:00

Me :)

Happy October!! Now that Fall is here, this might be a good time for me to check back in with my (nerd alert!) summer reading list, which can be found here. I didn't end up reading all of the books on my list (yet)- I still have 2 that I haven't read and a bunch of new ones... thanks to Borders and their going out of business sale. Because you may or may not be interested in my book reviews of all of these books, I thought I would just jot a few key points down- if you are interested in hearing more, shoot me an email!

Brave Girl Eating by Harriet Brown was fabulous. A must-read for parents or family members who have raised/lived with someone who has struggled with an eating disorder. It was an extremely quick read- took 2 days, and tears were shed. It's full of anguish- but abounding with hope. It depicts the experience so accurately and honestly.
Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich- an analysis of this book is more appropriate for another blog, not mine:)- but another must-read. It is a social commentary (written back in 2001), and one that I enjoyed for how it challenged my thinking.
I loved Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein, which I wrote about here and here. If you have a daughter, want to have a daughter, are a girl or are interested in girl culture, it is worth picking up. I have been telling everyone I know to read it.
The two books I have yet to start are Life Inside the Thin Cage by Constance Rhodes, and Rock What You've Got by Katherine Schwarzenegger. They both look great- and I'm excited to get started with both... one of these days.
The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein, took me awhile to get through- I'm not sure why, but it didn't captivate me quite like I've heard others report. Still an entertaining book, written uniquely from the perspective of a dog. Haha.
Love, love, loved the Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin- highly recommend it.
Goodbye Ed, Hello Me by Jenni Schaefer- a great book about life in recovery from an eating disorder, and a follow-up to Schaefer's Life Without Ed.
I picked up a few of Geneen Roth's books- Women, Food and God; Breaking Free From Emotional Eating; and When Food is Love- and while her books tend to be very similar, I think they have a lot of value. I hadn't read any of these before, and wanted to see if they might be a helpful resource for clients! I will write more on her books in another post. My favorite book that she has written is called When You Eat at the Refrigerator, Pull Up a Chair- it is also on my list of things to blog about:).
I read a memoir called Designated Fat Girl by Jennifer Joyner- her journey through gastric bypass surgery. It's a book that highlights binge eating disorder- and is a very heartfelt, emotional story. Will be writing more about this book, gastric bypass surgery and lap band surgery in the future.

While I could probably go on for awhile, I won't :) I would encourage you to check out some of these books if any of these topics appeal to you- if you are looking for something that is not on my list (that is related to topics I discuss on my blog), let me know and I might be able to direct you to an appropriate resource addressing the particular topic. And, if you have read any books recently that you recommend, please let me know! My reading doesn't end just because the summer did. :)

Odds and Ends

2011-09-30T18:06:00.000-04:00

September is drawing to a close, and Fall has officially arrived. I can hardly contain my excitement over Fall this year. I'm not exactly sure why that is, but it might have a little something to do with pumpkins, scarves, and the NC State Fair- it all just makes me a little giddy.

Anyways- I wanted to quickly post a few random odds and ends before the start of the weekend...

First- Forbes magazine highlighted eating disorders as an issue that faces executive, working women in an article that you can find by following this link. Eating disorders don't discriminate and I really respect Forbes for addressing such an important issue that affects many women in their 30's and up. People tend to think of eating disorders as generally affecting teenagers and adolescents, however, women of all ages are being impacted by eating disorders.

Tomorrow marks the first day that entries will be accepted into the International Association of Eating Disorder Professional's body image art contest: Imagine Me Beyond What You See. It was designed to promote a healthy awareness and acceptance of body images. If you are interested in finding out more about the parameters of the contest, follow this link. When I visited Eating Recovery Center in Denver in March, I saw entry #6 from last year displayed (click here to see it), and it is a beautiful piece of art!

Today marks the final day of National Friendship Month!! Give your friends a big hug today or next time you see them and thank them for how special they are to you! A special shout-out to my childhood best friend who has a birthday today- happy happy birthday Nicole!

Hope everyone has a great weekend! :)

Happy 'Day of the Girl' !!!

2011-09-22T15:00:00.002-04:00

Today marks international Day of the Girl. School Girls Unite, which is an organization made up of students and young women leaders in the US and Mali who are working towards the UN's Millenium Development Goals (universal basic education, child marriage prevention, etc), has created this day to "highlight, celebrate, discuss, and advance girls lives and opportunities across the globe." I recently started volunteering with 3rd-5th grade girls, and more than ever before have I seen just how important it is to educate young girls, especially regarding media and their perceptions (more on this later!).

The purpose of this day- Day of the Girl- is to advocate for girls all over the world by raising awareness of some of the issues that are unique to girls. Some of these issues include sex trafficking- which takes place here in the US as well as other countries around the globe; female mutilation; relationship abuse/domestic violence; education and literacy; and negative media images. This last one is one that I often highlight on my blog. You can check out these posts below for more on media, mixed messages, and advertising.

These are just a few of the posts I have written in the past on the media and its impact on how we view beauty, health, etc. If you have girls, if you work with girls, if you are a girl or woman yourself (!), if you live with a girl or are married to one, I would encourage you to have conversations about what you are noticing and seeing in the media about girls, women, bodies and beauty. There are so many negative and confusing messages out there, and by being mindful of what we see and hear, I think we are able to diffuse some of them so that we don't absorb them in the same way. I think at this point, its impossible to be impervious to all of the media's messages (because there are just so many!), but I think if we can take a pro-active stance and do our best to call out inconsistencies, then we're doing something!!

Take time today to think about how you might raise awareness about issues that face girls, no matter how big or small! Happy Day of the Girl! :)

Pica

2011-09-20T12:00:00.001-04:00

In the news recently, there has been some talk about an eating disorder that we don't hear too much about... Pica (pronounced- pie-kah). According to recent statistics, hospitalizations for Pica have doubled in the last decade. What is Pica?? The central feature of this eating disorder is ingesting non-edible substances. For example- paper, dirt, bugs, clay, paint, chalk, etc. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which is used to make psychological diagnoses, defines Pica in the following ways:

Persistent eating of nonnutritive substances for a period of at least 1 month.
The eating of nonnutritive substances is inappropriate to the developmental level.
The eating behavior is not part of a culturally sanctioned practice.
If the eating behavior occurs exclusively during the course of another mental disorder, it is sufficiently severe to warrant independent clinical attention.

OK- so let's break that down... If these behaviors with non-food have been going on for a month or more, if this is not related to a cultural practice, and the behaviors are not age appropriate and is not a result of another disorder, then ! Generally speaking, a child between the ages of 18-24 months eats (or tries to eat) non-edible things, and that does not indicate the presence of Pica. It is most common in children, however, as the age of onset is infancy. It can persist through adolescence and adulthood. Interestingly enough, statistics show that 31% of Pica cases among children in 2009 were in children with autism.

For more on Pica, follow this link.

Living an Exceptional Life

2011-09-19T15:45:00.000-04:00

It seems fitting on an almost fall-ish Monday to write about something positive and inspiring- right?! I got an email about a month ago from someone who had been inspired by an article that she shared with me, and I thought this would be a good time to share it! The article that she sent me was entitled '21 Simple Ways to Live an Exceptional Life.' Many of the things on this list are what I would describe as forms of self-care... ways to take care of yourself and maintain your personal health (emotional, physical, spiritual). For more on self-care, follow this link.

Rather than list all 21, or send you directly to the link without a mention of particulars, I thought I would highlight my favorites from the list, which was written by Henri Junttila- for a complete listing of all 21, follow this link.

Face Your Fears.

Everyone has things that they are afraid of. The truth of the matter is that when you face your fears, they melt away. What happens is that you realize that your fears are nowhere near as scary as you make them out to be. So face your fears, and go after what you truly want, because that is what you deserve.

Be Kind.

One of the first things you want to do in order to live an exceptional life is to be kind. Being kind is nothing special, yet at the same time it is. It can be smiling at people in your neighborhood, or helping a friend out. Treat people as you would like to be treated.

Be Yourself.

Almost everyone has been taught that being yourself is not enough. But you may also have realized that you cannot not be yourself, because that is what you are and who you are. You are on this blue planet of ours for a reason, and the only way you can do what you were meant to do is by being yourself.

Kill perfectionism.

Perfectionism has killed many dreams; don't let it kill yours. You've probably learned that making mistakes is bad, but that couldn't be further from the truth. It isn't until you fail and make mistakes that you begin learning what works and what doesn't.

Enjoy Life.

Above all else, remember to enjoy life and smell the roses. When you walk, remember to breathe deeply and be grateful for what you already have. You can always want more, but stop and appreciate what you already have, because if you don't do it now, when will you?

2011-09-18T07:00:00.000-04:00

There is no such thing as a dumb question... Right? How many times have you heard that before? I think nearly every teacher, professor, boss, authority of some kind that I have ever had has uttered this phrase at some point or another. I think until about 10 minutes ago, when I read this article, I believed it :-)

Now, let me explain. The Miss Universe pageant was apparently on TV this past Monday night. The girl who won (Miss Angola) was asked this question during her final interview- "If you could change one of your physical characteristics, which one would it be and why?" She handled the question extremely well, stating that she wouldn't change a thing, that she was satisfied with how God created her, and that she felt that she was beautiful inside and out. But- of all places to be asked to talk about something you would want to change about your looks (not to mention the fact that this is a pretty unfair question to be asked by anyone at anytime-- why must we want to change?) People often say that pageants are not all about beauty and looks, but with a question like this, it seems to perpetuate this ideal. This question that was asked is what I might call the exception to the "no questions are dumb" rule.

This article, "The Dumbest Question in the Universe" written by Jessica Ravitz, is definitely worth a read. It is dead-on, and really addresses some important points. You can check it out here.

2011-09-15T13:51:00.002-04:00

Do you ever have moments, hours, days that shake you out of your daily routine and remind you what it is that really matters in this life? I had one of those days yesterday. A friend of mine lost her boyfriend unexpectedly yesterday morning- she received a phone call and in a matter of a few moments, her life changed significantly. What a heartbreaking event-- words aren't capable of expressing the kind of pain that she is in.

I couldn't help but be reminded of the brevity of life. As cliche as it sounds, life is truly precious. It's so easy to get stressed out by small details- even big important details, to take advantage of how amazing the people in our lives are, or to forget what life is really all about. For me, I am reminded that my plans, my stress, my goals, etc. pale to the fact that I woke up this morning, and I have a strong faith, family and loved ones, which are many things to be thankful for. It is so easy to get caught up in the daily habits and pace of life that sometimes we forget to stop and remember how lucky we are to be alive, and how lucky we are to have all that we have.

You don't need to know my friend's name to pray for her- she could use your thoughts and prayers. Maybe today provides a moment for you to step back, take a breath and appreciate the life that has been given to you. I feel like I was seeing things through new eyes as I appreciated each breath today.

I posted this quote on gratitude not too long ago on my blog, but I thought I would post it again- it's great. And for those of you dealing with extremely painful circumstances and feelings, practicing gratitude doesn't mean ignoring your feelings or passing over your grief.

Enjoy the quote below, and be thankful today.

2011-09-13T23:56:00.002-04:00

It's fashion week in New York City, and Catherine Pearson of the Huffington Post wrote a pretty solid article addressing a very common myth... Fashion and Eating Disorders: How Much Responsibility Does the Industry Have?? Does the fashion industry cause eating disorders? If not, what role does it play in the development of eating disorders?

This article reiterates the fact that the fashion industry does not cause eating disorders. But it does address the unhealthy ideal that the fashion industry creates and the triggering nature of this ideal for those who may be struggling already, or who are genetically predisposed to developing an eating disorder. To read more, follow this link. Just a warning to readers- there are a few potentially triggering images of models at the top of this article- I am super careful about what I put on my blog because I never want to trigger anyone. So please view with care.

What is Self-Care?

2011-09-08T20:07:00.000-04:00

I think my little blog has felt a bit neglected this week. Between the holiday weekend, picking up a new volunteer gig (which I am so excited about- more on that to come), figuring out how to fit in a few hours of counseling work a week at a local all-girls college, and continuing to see clients daily in my private practice, I have been one busy bee. My first love is, of course, my private practice, but one of my favorite things about my work is being able to be involved in the lives of others and the different settings that I am able to do this in. Because things can get hectic, and I spend a lot of time with others, sometimes this means that my to-do list has to take a backseat in favor of practicing good self-care (hence, the lack of blog posts this past week).

No matter who you are, no matter what you do, and no matter the level of daily stress you encounter, self-care is essential. What exactly is self-care?? Well, wikipedia (the source for all accurate information-ha) defines it as 'personal health maintenance.' I like that definition. I like to think of self-care as just that- the necessary things we must do to maintain our health and well-being. Self-care includes sleep, hygiene, eating, taking time to be alone, and taking time to be with others. This is by no means an exhaustive list. But our to-do lists and plans need to come second to meeting our basic physical and social needs.

Whether you are struggling with an eating disorder, anxiety, depression, a broken relationship or grief, it is so important to focus on the basics and take care of yourself. Like my favorite quote (posted on the right side of my blog) says-

Love yourself, accept yourself, forgive yourself and be good to yourself because without you, the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things. - Dr Leo Buscaglia

2011-08-31T16:11:00.000-04:00

Can you believe that today marks the final day of August?? I can't! For me, this summer has flown by. I had a chance to sneak out of the office for lunch today, and I got to sit outside and enjoy this amazing weather we're having in Raleigh. Not too blazing hot but still warm, a little bit breezy and blue skies. Today is one of those days that gets me excited for Fall!!

Anyways, I thought I would round out August with some links to some of the more interesting articles I've read this month. Most of them come from the Huffington Post, a favorite of mine. If you've read any interesting ones, please feel free to share in the comments section!
Enjoy this final day of August :-)

Simple Words, Serious Consequences: What 'Fat Talk' Means by Kenneth Weiner, via Huffington Post

Who Says You're Fat? by Sophia Dembling, via PsychCentral

Kjerstin Gruys Commits to A Year Without Mirrors by Tara Kelly, via Huffington Post

Who Really Feels Good About Their Bodies? by Mina Samuels, via Huffington Post

What Fat Talk Does For Your Body Image by Nadia Goodman, via Huffington Post

Sweet Maggie and the D-Word

2011-08-27T16:28:00.001-04:00

So, you may have heard the recent uproar about a new book written for children called Maggie Goes on a Diet, about a 14-year-old girl who goes on a diet and is radically transformed from insecure, overweight girl to confident, social, thin, superstar soccer player. Seriously? What a message. :/ Good Morning America ran a piece with the author, which I am posting below that I would encourage you to watch. To be honest, I hesitated writing about this whole thing because 1- I haven't read the book (it's not out until October) and 2- this piece is getting so much negative attention, and I don't want to be another critical voice! But when I saw this interview, I felt the need to express just a few quick thoughts. More on why after the clip below. It's definitely worth watching- it's just a few minutes and it not only features an interview with the author but explores 6 year olds' inclinations towards thinness. So sad!

A few quick thoughts. After watching this interview with the author (Paul Kramer), I am fairly certain that he doesn't really get it. I don't think he is being malicious or intentionally trying to inflict harm on girls, but I do think that he is grossly uneducated about health and dieting. Rather than directing anger towards him, it might be helpful to use this as an opportunity to create open dialogue with people like him who don't see anything wrong with a book like this. Attacks against someone's character or critical diatribes aren't typically effective when trying to get one's point across. The other point that struck me is one I have known, but one that struck me again after this clip. As I watched, I was floored by just how young children pick up on messages about size and beauty. It's a good reminder that we have to be consistent and careful about how we communicate, and really, its a call for us to learn to embrace ourselves and pass on positive messages about our bodies and beauty to children.

If you are interested in writing a letter to the author or want more info on how to make a difference, follow this link to check out the Eating Disorder Coalition's latest info.

2011-08-22T12:05:00.001-04:00

A few weekends ago, I was in Chicago and found myself downtown at a giant expo (a large exhibition= here.). I was offered one of my favorite things in the world- a fortune cookie- by a (friendly) stranger at a booth. As silly as it might sound, I love fortune cookies because I just love cracking the cookie open to read the message inside. (Fun side note- one of my best friends was proposed to in a specially made fortune cookie!) Anyways, inside of my cookie were some very inspiring quotes that I thought really related to recovery from an eating disorder. Not only that, but I think that these quotes are encouraging and inspirational for anyone facing a challenge of any magnitude. So.. here they are:

You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. -Eleanor Roosevelt

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. -John Wooden

And while we're on the topic of motivational quotes, here is one of my favorites:

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -Lao-Tzu

Sometimes, just putting one (proverbial) foot in front of the other is how we make it through the rough patches and on to our destination.

And now, to make this post a little bit cheesier, this song below is one that I think might brighten your day. I heard it on the way to work the other day and it was playing in my head alll day long. Not a bad song to have running through your head, with its message of 'keeping your head up' :-).

And last but not least, an awesome article via The Huffington Post. Carolyn Costin (contributor to my post awhile back on recovery- here !!!) is interviewed on making a full recovery from an ED, and her encouragement to readers as therapist to Portia de Rossi. Follow this link to check it out. She has a book coming out in October called 'The 8 Keys to Recovery From an Eating Disorder.' Nancy Matsumoto reviewed the book on her blog, here. Sounds like its worth a read :) Happy Monday!

Celebrate the Small Things

2011-08-18T09:24:00.000-04:00

Accentuating the positive, practicing gratitude, and celebrating the small things are all things that I think are important. Today, for me, is a little celebration- this day last year, August 18th, was my first day in private practice for myself! Lest you think I'm bragging, it was serendipity really that led me here [the definition of serendipity: the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way]. Actually, I take that back- I think that everything happens for a reason and is ordained purposefully, but I feel that I was blessed in the way that things worked out to bring me to this point. I am so thankful to wake up each morning to do a job that I love, in a great office, in a great city full of people that I love.

Happy first birthday to my private practice!

While on the topic of celebrating the small things, I wanted to congratulate my friend Karen for her amazing work with The Grateful Tree. I blogged about her clothing line awhile back (read that post here) called The Grateful Tree, whose mission is to promote the fashion of gratitude. With each sale, a tree is planted, in addition to 30% of profits benefiting different charities. Karen has a passion for eating disorder recovery, and has also worked as a therapist specializing in treating eating disorders (we met in grad school!). She designed a shirt called the Grateful 'Hope' T-Shirt, whose profits go to the National Eating Disorders Association. Her shirts are being featured on NEDA's site, which is a pretty big deal. I am so proud of her!! Go Karen!! :-) Check it out here.. and then check out the tee. She sent me one a few months ago and I absolutely love mine. It is such a soft, comfortable tee that is perfect for lounging around in, or wearing to yoga. And it supports a great cause!

No matter what is going on in your life today, take a minute to accentuate the positive, practice gratitude in some small way, and celebrate the smallest thing, even if you feel silly. If you are reading this, you have something to celebrate- you are alive!! :)

Who Needs A Stress Dog?? :-)

2011-08-16T13:21:00.006-04:00

Yesterday, this article was sent to me by my best friend- she doesn't really read my blog very often, so she probably won't see this- but she deserves a shout-out because she is amazing! :). Anyways, we'll keep her anonymous, because the subject line of her email read: I Need A Stress Dog. Haha. This is a girl who isn't a huge fan of animals. When she met my dog for the first time, Bella ran across her face. Yes- ran across her face. I know that sounds impossible, but it happened and I think it traumatized her. Soo, I was a little intrigued by her email.

The NY Times article that she emailed me highlights the current debate over whether therapy dogs should be allowed in court, to help teenagers and others deal with having to disclose difficult testimony. My personal interest in this article had more to do with the idea of therapy dogs than anything else, and my best friend raised a good point- that therapy dogs help reduce stress!! Rosie, the golden retriever therapy dog who is featured in this article (named after Rosa Parks!), has worked with emotionally troubled children in a residential setting as well as in the court system. Therapy dogs play a role in helping reduce stress and can be very therapeutic. I'm sorry to say that I wasn't always a believer- but I am now. A friend of mine in Raleigh has two therapy/service dogs (which she has told me are two very different and distinct things). Her pups are so sweet. The Delta Society is a great resource that she told me about, if you would like more details. Or, if you are interested in hearing more about therapy dogs or service dogs, you can contact my friend herself- Sara Rose Roman, who graciously agreed in spite of her busy schedule to answer any questions that she can. (Sara is the founder of Change the Triangle, and also just started the Raleigh Forum, an awesome local business with her sister, Cristina. Definitely worth taking the time to check out both of these--click on the names and you will be led to their websites. You can reach her at sararose.roman@gmail.com! Thanks Sara!)

According to statistics from the APPA, we know that owning a pet can reduce one's blood pressure, and can lower stress levels and cholesterol levels, too! There is also a correlation in owning a dog and lower rates of heart disease. Pets also help fight depression and loneliness, especially amongst the senior citizen set. This isn't a public service announcement to run out and buy a dog- or any pet- but just an interesting story in the news that got me thinking about the therapeutic nature of animals. In the past, I wrote a post about equine therapy, which is therapeutic work done with horses. This is fairly common in many residential facilities that treat eating disorders. You can check out my post here for more info.

Speaking of dogs- look who stopped by my office the other day for a few minutes at lunch?! Bella (a boston terrier) was checking out my new polka dot chairs. I think she approves. Happy Tuesday, everyone!

Beauty, Princesses and Raising Girls- Part Two

2011-08-09T23:13:00.000-04:00

A few days ago, I posted some thoughts on femininity, beauty and little girls (here!) related to Peggy Orenstein's book Cinderella Ate My Daughter. There are so many things to say about this book, and I would really encourage anyone who has daughters to read it-- or anyone who, like me, is simply interested in girl culture. It is one that will make you think long and hard. Orenstein explores the world of Disney Princesses, but also looks at the toddler beauty pageant world (Toddlers & Tiaras style), American Girl dolls, and social media. One thing that particularly got me was her examination of fairy tales and Disney stories.

It's pretty interesting to consider some of the messages being communicated through Disney stories and fairy tales. As a kid, I never really thought too much about the stories themselves- I just remember that Ariel really loved the prince, and that Belle wore a yellow dress and loved the Beast! After reading Orenstein's book, it was pretty disturbing for me to step back and think some more about these stories. Take the Little Mermaid for example. That was a great one! Well, if you have seen it, take a minute to remember the premise. Do you remember? If you don't, here is a short version: Ariel, the Little Mermaid, sells her soul and her voice (literally) in order to earn the love of a prince (unabridged version via Wikipedia here). When I remembered that, I was a little bit shocked!! Becoming mute to be loved? Hmmm. I get that maybe this was seen as a grand gesture of her love, but the underlying message is not one that sends a positive, empowering message.

If I didn't think about these things as a kid, and didn't really understand what these things meant at the time, it may not be safe to assume that others didn't understand or pick up on the messages. But even if they didn't, why does any of this really matter? I guess I just think that if I had a little girl, I would not want her to pick up any messages about love, self-worth, relationships, happiness, etc from a story like this. I know it probably seems like I am over-reacting, and it is possible that I am. But I would rather over-react and be mindful when it comes to passing on potentially negative messages to very vulnerable ears and eyes! The challenge remains, however, to exhibit balance. It would be wrong to outlaw all stories and fairy tales, all Disney stories, princess stories, princess playing, dress-up and the color pink. That would ultimately be just as wrong and narrow minded! I think when interpreting media, regardless of the form, it is critically important to think through our choices and decisions about what is and isn't okay, and the consequent impact upon girls and women! As Orenstein says, "our role is not to keep the world at bay but to prepare our daughters so they can thrive within it."

With that, I will conclude with a quote- not really that relevant to the rest of this post- but one that I felt compelled to share as it addresses beauty, femininity and the media, topics often discussed on my blog. It is taken from Orenstein's book-
"I have never seen a study proving that playing princess specifically damages girls' self-esteem or dampens other aspirations. And trust me, I've looked. There is, however, ample evidence that the more mainstream media girls consume, the more importance they place on being pretty and sexy. And a ream of studies shows that teenage girls and college students who hold conventional beliefs about femininity--especially those that emphasize beauty and pleasing behavior--are less ambitious and more likely to be depressed than their peers. None of that bodes well for Snow White's long-term mental health."

Princesses, Raising Girls, and Beauty...

2011-08-05T13:40:00.001-04:00

Some of my friends like to tease me about my girliness. I am sure if you read my blog from time to time that you may have picked up on that... (um, flower background, anyone?!). I like that I am feminine (and I think my friends do too), but my femininity isn't likely to be mistaken as 'prissy'. I have survived a 3 week Outward Bound type trip in the upper peninsula of Michigan, in which I was only allowed to carry two outfits on my back, and I spent a summer in Zambia, Africa, in the bush. Trust me when I say that I was roughing it. While I don't prefer to rough it when given the choice (just keeping it real), I don't feel that my femininity and relative sense of adventure have defined me in a way that has prevented me from viewing others expressions of femininity in an open minded manner. I guess we are all biased though--I just don't feel that I have a chip on my shoulder towards others who don't share my same sense of girliness, or who are more girly than myself.

I think back to when I was young (I was born in the 80s), and I played with Barbies and My Little Ponies. But I also played with Lincoln Logs, and Tinker Toys, and loved them equally. I don't remember only wearing pink- I was a girly girl, but I also didn't really play a LOT of dress up, and while I remember enjoying Disney movies, I never really got wrapped up in the Disney princesses. Granted, by the time The Little Mermaid came out, I was in second or third grade. What I am about to say is an observation, rather than a judgment- but it seems like a lot of little girls these days are obsessed with the color pink and princesses! That is obviously a generalization, and with any generalization, there are exceptions to the rule. I have been having a difficult time putting into words my feelings about this flourishing princess culture, and reading Cinderella Ate My Daughter, written by Peggy Orenstein (it was on my summer reading list!), really helped me think through all of this a bit more.

Orenstein, who is up front from the get-go regarding her feminist leaning, believes that most parents are okay with their children being immersed in the Disney princess culture because they believe it is safe and child friendly. What could be safer than Disney, right?! Well.. she argues that little girls that are idealizing princesses are being set up to prioritize things that often lead to early sexualization (appearance, make-up, dressing up, etc). At the risk of this sounding like a giant leap- consider Disney teen star Miley Cyrus, etc. who started out as Disney's squeaky clean role model, who has now made quite a shift in her image. Or look at Britney Spears! Now, certainly, we can't use these women as evidence that our girls will turn out like them. Hey, I listened to 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' constantly and looked up to Britney for awhile, and I turned out okay. But when we raise our daughters in a princess world, it surely raises some questions about what kinds of messages they are getting.

First, the message of beauty. I don't know about you, but if you look at these pictures of the Disney princesses that I have posted, check out their waist size and their breasts. Or their cheekbones, and eyes? Most women I know don't look like that. Let's face it- we have a ways to go with how women and beauty are portrayed in the media, but that doesn't mean we have to be complicit with what we see. I don't know that I would want any daughter I might have one day to see these princesses and draw conclusions about beauty based on Ariel, Jasmine, Belle, etc. Let us not take ourselves too seriously--but if we're honest, our culture and ideals are ingrained in us at such a young age that I think we have to be responsible with the messages we are sending to our children, even when they are 3 years old! They are smart and pick up on a lot of things. If they are emulating princesses, dressing up and acting out princess games a lot, and they are being told that they are so beautiful as they play and dress-up, and that they are so special and precious, it sends them a pretty powerful message!

This post is getting lengthy, so I am going to conclude for now with a quote that Orenstein uses in her book in the context of an interview that she conducts with Catherine Steiner-Adair, the director of eating disorders education and prevention at the Klarman Eating Disorders Center at McLean Hospital in Massachusetts.

"'You're beautiful' is not something you want to say over and over to your daughter, because it's not something that you want her to think is so important. That said, there are times when it is important to say it: when she's messy or sweaty, when she's not dressed up, so that she gets a sense that there is something naturally beautiful about her as a person. And it's also important to connect beauty and love. To say, 'I love you so much. Everything about you is beautiful to me-- and you are beautiful to me.' That way you're not just objectifying her body."

I will conclude my review of this book in my next post- would love to hear your thoughts!!

Love Your Fellow Ladies

2011-08-03T10:57:00.002-04:00

So- I read a pretty disheartening article today and I feel like I need to make a PSA (!public service announcement!) to all the women out there. "Love your fellow ladies!!" :-).

Here is what happened. And I will refrain from using names. If you read about this, then you know who I am talking about, and if you didn't hear about it or read about it, the specific people are not important. One celebrity called another "a fat (bleep)." Anyways- the celebrity who called the other one fat has publicly made the following statements: "I took more h*ll for being fat than I did for being an absolute raging drug addict. I will never understand that." She also has said, "Some horrible obnoxious teenager screamed out a car window to me, 'You're fat!' I went to my parents bawling. I would rather be called ugly than be called fat!"

Here is someone who has publicly and privately struggled with her body, her feelings about herself, who has even been bullied about her weight. And yet she uses the most hurtful word she has been called to inflict harm on someone else. This is not a vendetta against the name-caller herself, but in fact a call to women- for us to stop bullying each other and picking on one another about appearance, weight, intelligence, etc. Not to sound like a mom right now, but what good comes from that?! What if we spent all that time and energy (regardless of how little or how much time it is) being used to judge, hurt, slander, gossip etc about other girls and instead used that same breath and energy to do something positive? Pay someone a compliment, write someone an encouraging note, say a prayer for someone in need, ... random acts of kindness are so much better than taking shots at other girls!

Also- think about it like this. As women, we face enough challenges, especially when it comes to redefining beauty. If we can't love our fellow woman, then how do we expect to make a difference, and make changes in our world together? Every time you are tempted to say something mean or bad about another girl, just stop and ask yourself if it is 1)beneficial; 2)nice; 3)helping anyone or making a positive difference. We have nothing to gain by being mean to each other and calling each other names, calling each other fat, calling each other ugly, etc. So ladies, love your fellow ladies!!

Dispelling Eating Disorder Myths

2011-07-29T12:45:00.005-04:00

There was a segment yesterday on the Today Show with Dr. Nancy Snyderman and Ann Curry, two women I find to be educated and interesting, that highlighted the phenomenon of 'Mommyrexia.' This is a pop psychology term for someone who is pregnant and struggling with an eating disorder (also known as 'Pregorexia'). This is not a new kind of eating disorder, but in fact a term that has been created in the media to describe someone who is pregnant and suffering from an eating disorder. Perhaps this is evidence of our society becoming more aware of women who are struggling with food and their bodies while they are pregnant. While we know that the media does not cause eating disorders, certainly the obsession with celebrities and their post-baby bodies does not have a positive impact on women who are pregnant and having babies. It seems that celebrities are bouncing back to their pre-pregnancy weight within days and weeks of having their babies, and it sets an unrealistic expectation for women everywhere and is not healthy.

All this to say that Dr. Snyderman made some unfortunate comments yesterday about how 'Mommyrexia' is an "Upper East Side, white girl, obnoxious problem.' While my intention here is not to be critical of Dr. Snyderman, my intention is to undo the myths that her comments are perpetuating about eating disorders. She said that it ('Mommyrexia') was "irritating" to her, and that she finds the "whole thing vulgar" (the whole thing= "perfect babies, perfect bodies, perfect lives"). While I agree that eating disorders are troubling, I don't agree that they are irritating. It is irritating when we get cut off in traffic, it is irritating when people are rude, but eating disorders?? When we say they are irritating, I think it connotes that people choose to have eating disorders. Why don't they just stop struggling and eat a cheeseburger? Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but that is what it sounds like to me. I think we have to be careful with our language because it communicates something. I think people choose eating disorders as much as people choose cancer. The choice of course exists to recover, to get help and to act in healthier ways, but anyone who has had an eating disorder will tell you that they wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I also don't agree that eating disorders discriminate-- the body of research that exists tells us that eating disorders do not just affect white women from high socioeconomic status. That is of course a stereotype, but one that we now know is not true. Eating disorders affect males, they affect people of all different ethnicities, of all social strata, and people of all ages. When we hear a very intelligent doctor say that an eating disorder is a rich, white girl problem, it impacts the way that we view the illness and might cause one to think that he or she does not really have a problem because of how they are perceiving this illness.

I think it is important to have conversations about the things that we hear about and see in the media, not for the purpose of calling people out on their missteps, but to engage in open dialogue so as to dispel myths and untruths. Trying to undo some of these myths that were perpetuated on this segment of the Today Show might help educate people about eating disorders... and allow those that may be struggling to understand and know that what they are struggling with really is an eating disorder and that they can recover and receive help.

And below, some links to a few interesting articles on eating disorders that have popped up in the last few days.

CPR, First Aid and Eating Disorders???

2011-07-27T17:00:00.005-04:00

Monday night, I had the privilege of attending a CPR/First Aid training that was required for some volunteering that I will be starting in the fall (more on that later!). I'm not going to sugarcoat it.. the 4 hour training was a little long, especially after a full day of work...which is probably why a few people may have received a text message containing this photo that I sneakily snapped from my phone with some one-liners....

Anyways, there were six of us present for the training, but one girl left after the CPR portion because she had already completed the First Aid part of the training. When our instructor went to go print out our cards at the end of the training (which prove we are officially certified!), I got a little social and started asking questions about everyone. Up to that point, all of our eyes were pretty much glazed over except for the random laughs we got at the expense of the instructor's cheesy jokes. One girl was an accountant, one worked at a software company, one was a school social worker, one was a college student, and then there was me! After asking about the girls, one of them asked about me, and what I do for a living. I told her that I work as a therapist, and that I treat anxiety, depression, and issues related to grief/loss, life transitions, relationships, etc., but I specialize in treating eating disorders, body image and eating concerns. Before I knew what was happening, a full blown conversation was going on.. one of the girls was sharing about the eating disorder she has recovered from, and another girl was telling me about her sister who recovered from anorexia. They were all asking me questions about eating disorders, and it ended up being a nice little conversation.

This isn't that different from a lot of conversations that I have when people I meet ask me what I do for a living. Sooo... why you ask, am I sharing this? :-) The reason is because I think about the fact that there were just five of us strangers in a room, and over half of us have personally experienced an eating disorder, had a family member or a friend struggle with one. I think that is significant because it goes to show how many lives are being touched by EDs and how many lives have been touched by them. I'm no statistician, but when the topic of eating disorders comes up, people seem to always have a friend, a sister, a cousin, their own experience, etc to share. Typically, people that are struggling do not talk about their eating disorder or their behaviors- sometimes because they are in denial, sometimes because they feel shame, and sometimes, because it just isn't an appropriate time to talk about it. I loved how open these women were and how great a conversation we could have. And, it served as a good reminder that eating disorders impact many people, not just sufferers themselves.

If you are struggling with an eating disorder, or have a friend or family member that is struggling, seek help or encourage them to seek help. Recovery is absolutely possible. The girl that I met in the training who shared about her own struggle told me how much of a difference therapy made in her life. It is so encouraging to hear positive recovery stories. If you have a recovery story and would like to share it, please send me an email at MeredithStokkeNCC@gmail.com.

2011-07-24T23:27:00.003-04:00

I heard the news about Amy Winehouse's death yesterday afternoon on the radio as I was driving home. Despite the struggles that she lived out in such a painfully public way, her death has still come as a shock to so, so many. I know that I was shocked, and yet, if I'm honest, I wasn't surprised. She was in and out of rehab many times for drug and alcohol addiction, her tours were cancelled due to her instability, she got into legal trouble more than once, she displayed erratic behaviors with people and repeated these patterns in the public eye over the course of the last few years. The thing is... in spite of all of these major red flags, her death is still shocking. I don't think we ever actually expect people to die, even when they are engaging in self destructive and self harming behaviors.

I am one part sad and devastated over the tragedy of it all, and one part angry. It is so hard to see this happen, when it seems like it could have been avoided somehow. I wrote a post a few years ago when Brittany Murphy passed away (to check it out, follow this link) and I have some of the same feelings now that I did then. Hopefully this can serve as a big wake-up call.. As well as a reminder that while people are ultimately responsible for their own actions and choices, if there are people in our lives that we see struggling-- with addiction, an eating disorder, or any other life threatening condition or behavior that is rooted in mental health/mental illness-- it is essential to act!

I have read quotes by Amy's mother in a few articles, and she admitted that her daughter's premature death was only a matter of time. Someone who is struggling with addiction must take the steps to get better, and must choose to get help- no one can do this for the person suffering. However, in order to get to that place, sometimes people need tough love by the people who are in their lives. While Amy's tour had recently been cancelled so that she could work on her health and recovery (allegedly her drinking), I just wonder if there is something more that could have been done. Maybe her record label could have put more serious sanctions in place, or the people that worked for her could have refused to continue to take care of her. These questions aren't coming from a place of judgment, because who knows, maybe these things were going on behind the scenes! The point is... if you know someone who is struggling, don't be afraid to step in and encourage them to get help, or seek treatment. If it means creating different boundaries in your friendship or relationship with this person until they are healthy, then do what is necessary!!

If you are the one struggling and you are ambivalent about getting better, perhaps this is a good time to consider some very important things. What kind of life do you want to have? What sort of things are interfering with you from having that life? Do you believe that you are putting yourself in danger? Do you trust the people around you, and their concern and care for you? If not, why? What is holding you back from living the life you want? Often, these answers can be rooted in deeply painful places, and it is tough to face them. I encourage you to approach these questions thoughtfully, and move in a direction towards healing. The loss of Amy's life (and many others as a result of addiction, eating disorders, etc) is truly tragic and there is hope.

Don't Get Lost in the Crowd

2011-07-18T17:24:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite movies for awhile was Center Stage (movie trailer here for those of you unaware and missing out). Let me first explain that for the first 12 years of my life, ballet was a major fixture. At some point, I stopped enjoying it, but because I had so much invested in it, it took me my awhile to come to the conclusion that it was okay to move on and do other things. With that being said, I loved the idea of Center Stage as a movie because it follows the lives of young ballet students who are enrolled in a New York City ballet school/company. The main character, Jody, struggled with her technique but lived and breathed ballet, while Maureen, another central character, had exquisite technique but struggled with the heart and passion for dance.

I want to highlight Maureen's role because her character in the movie has a lot to teach us about eating disorder recovery. While Maureen does in fact struggle with an eating disorder in this movie [in fact, the movie can be a little triggering in parts due to its accurate depiction of eating disorder behaviors so heads up!], what she teaches us about ED recovery doesn't actually come from her recovery from the eating disorder strangely enough.

Maureen is a very gifted dancer. She has impeccable skills and yet, she is not passionate about ballet. Throughout the movie, she begins to lose her one-dimensional preoccupation with ballet as she branches out.. making friends, eating pizza, and even dating. She fears that these things will interfere with her ability to be the best ballet dancer in the company, so she really struggles with having a social life. Her boyfriend picks up on her ED behaviors, and questions why she spends so much time doing something (ballet) that contributes to her unhappiness and unhealthiness. While there is ultimately more to the story, she essentially feels that without ballet she does not know who she is. It has defined her for so long that without it, she grapples for a sense of identity. Cue the ED recovery comparison.

One thing that often happens when one is struggling with an eating disorder is that the ED can eclipse one's identity. Sufferers sometimes express that the ED is what causes them to stand out, be noticed, be unique, etc.. For this reason (and others too of course), the ED can become a very important and significant part of someone's identity. This is one of the reasons that makes it tough to give up the eating disorder. By giving up the ED, one feels that she has to give up the thing that makes her special and defines her. This is the big lie of course (that an ED makes you special), but one that feels pretty real for those suffering from an eating disorder. Giving up an identity that we perceive as fulfilling a need can be extremely scary, and yet crucial in order to live our lives in freedom and health.

At the end of the movie (spoiler alert!!), Maureen end ups quitting ballet. She recognizes that she can have a life and an identity outside of ballet, and that ignoring her feelings and desires was resulting in some very unhealthy ways of coping. The same thing can be said of an eating disorder. While it can be terrifying to let go of, an eating disorder does not add anything positive into your life! If you are scared to let go of your eating disorder because you are afraid that you will lose a part of yourself that makes you unique and makes you stand out... think about your friends and loved ones. What makes them stand out to you? Is it their appearance? Probably not! It's their attitudes, their personality traits, their character, their passions, their interests. Think about what makes others stand out to you, and it might help you to think about the ways in which you stand out!

On another note, the Center Stage soundtrack was killer back when it came out circa 2000. You should check it out- Michael Jackson, Jamiroquai, and Mandy Moore. Haha!! The name of my post, Don't Get Lost in the Crowd, is actually a song title on the soundtrack, and its by Ashley Ballard. It's a good one :-).

Props to the American Medical Association!

2011-07-13T09:31:00.002-04:00

You may or may not share my enthusiasm for this bit of news, but as you might know, I am a big fan of pointing out positive movement when it comes to body image and the ways that the media portrays beauty. I just read about some new policies that the American Medical Association (AMA!) adopted at its annual meeting that met recently in late June in Chicago. One of the policies that they voted on is below (scroll down-- I lifted it verbatim from their website:)).

The basic idea is that the AMA is acknowledging the harm that photoshop and digitally altering images can have and often does have on people, especially children and adolescents. As a result, they are working towards establishing guidelines with marketing and advertisement organizations to represent a healthier, more realistic portrayal of bodies in the media. While they do not specifically say how they plan to do this (I imagine this will take quite a bit of thought+time+work), it is encouraging that physicians are emphasizing the importance of the media's impact on how we perceive beauty and the resulting potential health implications. This isn't to say that the media causes eating disorders- I say this often- because the media does not cause eating disorders. However, unrealistic photos can encourage unrealistic expectations about what our bodies are supposed to look like, which often leads to dieting/disordered eating, which can contribute to the development of an eating disorder.

For more, check out the AMA's website here.
BODY IMAGE AND ADVERTISING TO YOUTH: Advertisers commonly alter photographs to enhance the appearance of models' bodies, and such alterations can contribute to unrealistic expectations of appropriate body image – especially among impressionable children and adolescents. A large body of literature links exposure to media-propagated images of unrealistic body image to eating disorders and other child and adolescent health problems.

The AMA adopted new policy to encourage advertising associations to work with public and private sector organizations concerned with child and adolescent health to develop guidelines for advertisements, especially those appearing in teen-oriented publications, that would discourage the altering of photographs in a manner that could promote unrealistic expectations of appropriate body image.

"The appearance of advertisements with extremely altered models can create unrealistic expectations of appropriate body image. In one image, a model's waist was slimmed so severely, her head appeared to be wider than her waist," said Dr. McAneny. "We must stop exposing impressionable children and teenagers to advertisements portraying models with body types only attainable with the help of photo editing software."

St. Baldrick's Follow-Up with Stacey!

2011-07-10T18:50:00.003-04:00

Stacey, Pre-Buzz

Remember this post (and this one, too!), where I shared Stacey and Morgan's story?? These two awesome ladies raised some serious cash for St. Baldrick's Foundation, which donates money to aid in cancer research for children. If you are new to their story, they raised 22,000+ dollars by shaving their heads!! I thought this was such a bold and awesome move that serves as a good reminder about how as individuals we can make a difference.

I had the chance to catch up with Stacey post- buzz, and was curious to hear how it went. I was also curious to ask her what it was like being bald! Stacey and I are friends on facebook, and let me tell you- the girl looked beautiful with a bald head. I saw her pictures (Morgan's too!) and they were beautiful. I think even more powerful and beautiful, though, was the act of doing something sacrificial and kind for others.

Soo, what was Stacey's experience like? Check out some questions I asked her to share with you all below-

Me: What was it like those first few days right before and right after shaving your head? Were any tears shed? Were you nervous/excited?

Morgan, Stacey and Friends Post-Buzz :-)

Stacey: We were both ready to be on the other side. It’s exhausting raising that kind of money! We’d dyed our hair [they died their hair pink and other fun colors!] and the color was starting to fade, and it was getting hot outside! I wasn’t nervous until about 5 minutes before I left for Harris Field, and mostly right before we walked up to the stage, but I still never got as nervous as I had anticipated. I never cried, and at the first swipe of the clippers, all the nervousness was gone. I did have patches of pink on my scalp from the dye, so I wasn’t super happy with my look until I had washed that off. But I’ve gotten used to it. It’s super easy.

Me: How have people responded?

Stacey: The first day, we all went to a bar and ran into this lady who was having her one-year remission cancer party. After talking to us, she went back to her table and took off her wig for the rest of her party because of our 5 bald heads sitting at the bar! That was really awesome. A few days later, Morgan and I were having lunch and a guy came up and asked us if we’d done St. Baldrick’s, and then thanked us and shook our hands. We don’t really get much anymore, as our hair has grown out enough to look like a hairstyle choice. But those two encounters were really awesome for me.

Me: If/How has it changed or reinforced your thoughts/views on what true beauty is?

Stacey: I honestly forget that I’m bald-ish until I catch someone looking at me funny. I won’t leave the house without earrings (because I look like a boy without them), but other than that, I’m really comfortable without my hair. I miss it when I see someone with really pretty long hair, but I haven’t had any episodes of not feeling good about myself. That fact surprises me, but I dig it.

Me: Any interesting challenges that have come up as a result of being bald? or fuzzy? :)

Stacey: The main challenge was how cold it was to not have hair! I had to wear hats and hoodies all the time. Even in 80 degree weather it was cold. I heard that it can burn really easily too, but I never let it get to that point. Now that we’re getting fuzzy, both of those concerns are over. The only thing now is that everybody wants to rub my head…but I kind of like that part. :)

Me: Anything else you want to share with readers???

Stacey: Our team raised over $22,000! Thanks to everybody who helped us get there!

Stacey and Morgan with a little Fuzz :)

For more on St Baldrick's, check out this video clip below or check out their website here.

Body Image Busters :-)

2011-07-05T17:50:00.000-04:00

It's a bit of a crazy week for me, so I thought that I would drop in and leave you with a few interesting, thought provoking body image related articles. I'd encourage you to check them out!! Follow the links below to read! :-)

Take Back Your Summer: Accepting the Body You Have Now by Robin S. Rosenberg

If Men Don't Care About Cellulite, Why Do We? (Battling the "Bikini-Body" Obsession) by Keli Goff

Body Image Perception: Learning to Love The Body You Have Now by Susan Liddy

The Mindful Way to Overcome 'I Hate My Body Thoughts' by Dr. Susan Albers

The Children's Malnutrition Center

2011-07-01T10:06:00.000-04:00

About two weeks ago, I had the opportunity to go to Guatemala to work in a Malnutrition Center. It was a life-changing trip, which is why I decided to share about it here. While I typically don't blog here about my travel plans, social life, etc... I felt that this was something special and I wanted to give you all the opportunity to learn about and meet some amazing children and people that I had the privilege to meet.

One thing that made this trip so special was that it was a mother-daughter trip... so I got to share this incredible experience with my mother- and other really inspiring women!!

Madre y moi

We flew into Guatemala City, and drove to Antigua, where westayed. From there we took a bus each day to San Juan Sacatapequez, wherethe Children’s Malnutrition Center is located. The Center is primarily made upof children whose parents are no longer able to financially care for them. Whenthe children arrive, they are often extremely malnourished. A seven-month oldbaby was brought to the Center while we were there-- he was 7 pounds andwearing newborn clothes. So sad. He had to be taken to the hospital, as some ofthe children do upon arrival.

The Center is owned by the Lions Club of Guatemala, and is largely funded by the organizationthat we went with, called Orphan’s Heart! During our week visiting the Center,there were 67 children staying there, equipped with 4 workers to take care ofall the children. Two workers stay overnight. Can you imagine what it must be like having two peopletaking care of 67 children under the age of four each night? Wow.

Three of our little babes having a snack :-)

Our volunteer workwhile there consisted of holding the children, feeding them, bathing them,changing their diapers (I actually never had to change a diaper—coincidence?),and just showing them affection. Considering the child to worker ratio, thesechildren receive such little affection. While a lot of these children haveparents, their parents are unable to care for them due to finances, so theydrop them at the Center so they can be taken care of adequately. Sadly, with so few workersand so many children, sometimes the children do not have diaper changes morethan twice a day. For an infant or toddler, 6-8 diaper changes in a day mightbe more typical. This means that these children often sit with wet and dirtydiapers. We were able to re-stock their supply room and pantry with thingsthat we had brought along with us- diapers, toiletries, toothbrushes, etc. as a way to provide the children with more resources.

Sweet little ones in their cribs...

I am still processing my time in Guatemala, and what Ilearned from my experience there. But here are a few quick insights.

1. Generosity- These children are so content with solittle. It’s pretty incredible to think about how much we have living inAmerica- and I think that it certainly begs a few questions… how might we helpothers? How might we use our resources to help those who are in need?

2. Big Picture- I think it is valuable to step away fromour lives for a minute to get a glimpse of the bigger picture. We can get socaught up in our lives, our work, our relationships… that we forget that lifeexists beyond ourselves! This does not at all mean that we need not beconcerned with our lives- but it’s important to try to find a balance! Serving others and looking outward is so important.

3. Gratitude- After visiting third world countries, it is alwaysinteresting to come home to the luxuries of the first world. I think thatrather than feel guilty about the things that we have, and the things that wehave access to, we have a responsibility to appreciate what we have, but more so, toponder how we might give to others and share what we have!!

The last thing I will say (holy lengthy post!) is that when wevolunteer or serve others, we often are the ones that walk away changed. It's not that we serve others for the sake of feeling good about ourselves of course, but I think when we help others, we often leave the experience feeling more greatly impacted by those whom we serve. I know that the children and workers at the Center left such a great impact on me, greater than anything that I could have done in my short time there. For more info on the Center, or to find out how you might donate or buy supplies for the Center, follow this link.

I love this little guy- wish I could have smuggled him home with me!!!

Happy Monday!!

2011-06-27T14:06:00.001-04:00

Hope this post finds you enjoying the start of a new week! This post finds me with an extra few minutes to enjoy at my office before things pick up again, and I am hearing LOUD thunderstorms outside!! I kind of like it :)

I am currently working on a few posts that I am really excited to share soon- but for now, I want to direct your attention to a fantastic article that I read this morning. Entitled "How to Talk to Little Girls" by Lisa Bloom, this article addresses the importance of relating and talking to girls using values and interests as points of conversation, rather than appearance. Appearance is the first thing we often comment on, so when we see a little girl we might say "oh! you are so cute!!" "i love your little outfit!" because that is just so easy to do- I sure am guilty of this! Ah!! But Bloom encourages us to reinforce non-appearance based things... for example, what are your favorite books? What are some of the things that you like to do? By engaging them in this way, we model for young girls that there are things more important and worthwhile than appearance, which is the opposite message than the one they typically get.

If you are a mother, an aunt, a cousin... if you have a sister, if you interact with little girls, work with children at church, volunteer with children in the community, ... please, please read this. You can find the article here. Remember, change starts with us! We can make a difference, one day at a time. Happy reading :)

Hello, Summer!

2011-06-21T14:06:00.002-04:00

Today marks the first day of summer! While summer can bring with it a litany of body concerns and urges to diet and restrict (hello, bathing suit season!), summer also welcomes longer days, opportunities to be outside and sometimes even a vacation! Being the nerd that I am, one of my favorite parts of summer as a high schooler was the summer reading list that I would receive for the following year's English class. I loved going to Barnes and Noble with my mom and picking out all of the books. I still love to read. And, as a way to usher in the summer on a high note, I thought I would make a summer reading list! I plan on reviewing some of these books, as there are a few great eating disorder related books here that I have been wanting to get around to but just haven't had the time!

[As an aside... if you are struggling with body image and need a boost, check out this post or this one!]

Below are some of the books that I am looking forward to reading... If you have any suggestions or books that you would recommend, let me know what they are!! I love a good book :-).

What's in a Name?

2011-06-20T14:41:00.000-04:00

Is anyone else tired of hearing about "Weinergate"? :-) If you aren't sure what I'm talking about... there has been a LOT in the news about Anthony Weiner, a New York congressman who just resigned, who is entangled in a situation involving some lewd photos. Let's just say... I think we've all heard enough. And more than we ever wanted to know. You might be wondering where I'm going with this, because this is not a political blog. Because there has been so much negativity and bad press surrounding Anthony W. this last week, I thought this would be a good time to highlight the positive contributions of someone who is making such a positive difference in the eating disorder field... Dr. Kenneth Weiner!

image source: the brandbuilder

Dr. Weiner is a leading psychiatrist who specializes in treating eating disorders and who co-founded the Eating Recovery Center (ERC) in Denver. He also just started blogging at the Huffington Post. I point this out because I love the Huffington Post, but more so because I really respect the work of Dr. Weiner. His first blog post can be found by following this link and is entitled "Eating Disorders and the One Thing You Need to Know About Them."

Dr. Weiner has over 25 years of experience in treating EDs, and founded ERC with Dr. Emmett Bishop in 2008. (Check out the site here.)You might remember a post a few months ago that I wrote after my trip to Denver (follow this link if you missed it), but my experience there was wonderful. The treating professionals are experts and leaders in the field, and are doing so much to educate and support individuals and families impacted by eating disorders. In his first post for the Huff Post, he drives home the point that eating disorders are the deadliest mental illness around. It's great that he is blogging on such a well read forum, as education and myth busting about eating disorders is needed-- it is so crucial that these facts are getting out there. To read more about his career, check out his bio on the ERC website here. And remember, especially on a Monday!!- that a little positivity can go a long way!!

Yoplait Listens

2011-06-16T07:21:00.003-04:00

I received an email update Tuesday from NEDA announcing the information below (scroll down to read the press release). The gist? Yoplait (yogurt) has been running commercials that are not sensitive towards those suffering from eating disorders or those who are pre-disposed to developing them. I haven't seen any of these advertisements, so I can't speak to the content, but that is irrelevant. The point is that NEDA's Media Watchdog Group rallied and I thought I would share it as a reminder that we have the power to make a difference!! For more information on NEDA's Media Watchdog program and how you can be involved, follow this link.

‘Kudos to Yoplait,’ Says
National Eating Disorders Association
Company Agrees to Remove Troubling
Advertising Campaign From the Air

SEATTLE — June 14, 2011 — For Immediate Release — The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) applauds Yoplait and parent company General Mills for their sensitivity in agreeing to remove an advertising campaign that many felt had negative implications for people suffering from eating disorders or those with a pre-disposition to developing such an illness.

According to Lynn Grefe, president and CEO of NEDA – after conversations with General Mills executives Eric Galler, vice president of marketing, Yoplait, and Jeff Hagen, director of consumer services – the company agreed to discontinue the concerning ad campaign, which contained language NEDA says is a trigger for those most vulnerable. Due to advertising buys, however, the spot may continue to be seen in some markets over the next few weeks, but will be pulled as quickly as possible according to the company.

Commented Grefe, “The language in this advertising campaign was seriously problematic for those affected by eating disorders and anyone who may have a predisposition towards developing one. We applaud Yoplait and General Mills for taking the time to speak with us, listening to our concerns and their quick action to provide a solution. I believe the company had no intent to harm and gained insight into a very serious issue that we hope will influence their marketing decisions in the future. Congratulations to any and all who may have written to the company with concerns. And thank you again, Yoplait and General Mills, for assuming a leadership role in corporate responsibility and accountability.”

The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), headquartered in Seattle, Wash., is the leading U.S. non-profit organization supporting individuals and families affected by eating disorders. NEDA serves as a catalyst for prevention, cures and access to quality care. Each year, NEDA helps millions of people across the country find information and appropriate treatment resources through its toll-free, live helpline, its many outreach programs and website. NEDA advocates for advancements in the field and envisions a world without eating disorders. For more information, visit www.NationalEatingDisorders.org

Binge Eating Disorder

2011-06-14T12:45:00.000-04:00

I had a chance to catch up last week with a friend of mine who works for a residential treatment facility in the area, and we were both acknowledging that there has been an increased trend recently in phone calls from people seeking treatment for binge eating disorder. I know that this is true of my practice. It's been awhile since I've talked about binge eating disorder on my blog, and after I read an article yesterday on ABC News.com about it (another blog post for another day-- soon!), I thought today was a good time to do that!

Currently, binge eating disorder (BED) is not recognized as its own eating disorder by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which is used to diagnose psychiatric and psychological disorders. However, the DSM-IVTR is being revised and a new version will be released in the not too distant future (scheduled for 2012). In that version, BED will be recognized as its own disorder, rather than an 'eating disorder not otherwise specified' ('ednos'), as it is characterized now. Among eating disorder professionals however, binge eating disorder is certainly treated as a disorder in its own category.

How do you know if you suffer from binge eating disorder? Let's first define a 'binge.' Some people will say they binge, but when it comes to eating disorders, a binge can be relative in the eye of the beholder. Someone with anorexia might define a binge as two servings of crackers. That is not a binge. A binge is when one consumes an unusually large amount of food in a discrete period of time. Below are the criteria which define BED:

Recurrent binge eating
Binge eating episodes include 3 out of the 5 following behavioral characteristics: guilty, depressed, disgusted after eating; eating large amounts of food without being hungry; solo eating episodes/secret or hidden eating; very rapid eating; eating to the point of physical discomfort.
Significant distress about binge eating
Binge eating episodes at least 2 days a week, over the course of 6 months
You do not meet the criteria for anorexia or bulimia, and there are no regular or consistent compensatory behaviors (purging of any kind)
source: Carlos M. Grilo. Eating and Weight Disorders. Psychology Press, NY: 2006.

If you do not meet the above criteria, it does not mean you do not struggle with binge eating. It also does not mean you don't have an eating disorder, or struggle with disordered eating. Any patterns with food that cause you distress and that are unhealthy are significant and need to be addressed! If any of these behaviors sound like you, I would encourage you to consider talking with someone. You can live and walk in freedom from food, and it doesn't have to take over your life! If you do not know where to start, there are resources available. If you have questions or concerns, feel free to shoot me an email- MeredithStokkeNCC@gmail.com. Also, check out the Binge Eating Disorder Association here!

Race for the Cure+Beating the Body Image Blues

2011-06-13T11:30:00.005-04:00

Saturday morning- June 11 to be exact, I had the chance to participate again in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Raleigh, NC. I love being able to participate in this particular event, as breast cancer has impacted my family in a significant way. Last year, I wrote a post about body image that I thought I would re-post in light of the weekend's event.

The Susan G. Komen Race For The Cure took place in Raleigh, NC this past Saturday, and it was such an inspiring event. It held special meaning for me, as I have a grandmother and an aunt who have both battled breast cancer-- and survived!!! My aunt was actually in town from Oregon for follow up care at Duke, so we formed a team and all participated in this event together. I have heard that participating in a Komen race is very different than other races, and as a first time participant, I think I learned why that is. First, there were SOOO many people that participated. If you look at the picture below-- it is a little tough to make out-- but as far as you can see, there are people that fill up the streets. [This year, in 2011, 25k people were expected to be at the event! Don't know what the final numbers were though!]

The other thing that seemed different to me was the heart and spirit that is so palpable at this event. I think that most people participating had been touched in some way by breast cancer. While my grandma and aunt are survivors, not everyone wins their battle with breast cancer. One of my friends that participated on our team lost her mother to the illness. Many, many people have lost loved ones to this illness and it is really heartbreaking. While statistics differ, one in 8-9 women will suffer from breast cancer!!

The picture below is actually a shot of a few of the women that were on our team-- "Breast of Friends" : ) and you will notice the hot pink paper on these women's backs. These hot pink sheets of paper served as memorials to write names of people that you were walking in celebration of (survival), or in memory of, for those who have passed away. It was really sobering and emotional to see all of the names of people who have lost their lives to this illness. I think anytime, with any illness or disease, seeing names or faces make an impact because it personalizes the illness. In talking to my aunt over the course of her visit to Raleigh, she shared with me that battling and surviving breast cancer has changed her life and the way that she lives it in so many ways. One thing that she said that stood out to me was that she is thankful every single morning when she wakes up and realizes how blessed she is to be alive, and to have a body that works and is healthy.
This really impacted me and made me consider how her wise words can be applied to those of us who have not battled breast cancer! First, I think that her attitude of thankfulness is one to be emulated. There are a million ways that an attitude of gratefulness and thankfulness can impact us-- as well as those around us. Whether it means that we worry a little less, we appreciate what we have more, or take our eyes off of what we lack and what we wish we had by focusing on what we do have, it is always good to have perspective, and to live in a way that reflects that attitude.

Secondly, I think that this relates to body image and the ways that we think of and care for our bodies. I want to be clear, like I am often, that eating disorders are a mental illness. Part of having an eating disorder (diagnostically) is experiencing a severe disturbance and preoccupation with your weight, shape, size, body-- so this is in no way meant to minimize the severity and nature of these thoughts. What I will say though, is that for those of us who struggle with body image and have a negative self-image, this may be a good reminder and an encouragement about all that our bodies can do for us, and how blessed we are to have bodies that are able to function how they are supposed to, that allow us to be active, and that allow us to experience life! Yes, it may be upsetting when our jeans fit more snug; yes, it may get you down when you flip through a magazine and see nothing but airbrushed 'beauties'; and yes, it may be frustrating when you don't feel good about yourself! These are all feelings that we women have experienced before, so you are not alone! But I will encourage you with the words of my brave aunt, who said that she wakes up every morning, thankful to be alive and to have a body that works. Rather than focus so much on the way that our bodies look, maybe if we start to appreciate all that our bodies do for us, and the fact that they allow us to experience life, we may begin to embrace our bodies a little more and appreciate them for what they are and what they do for us.

For more info on beating the body image blues, click on the links below to check out the following posts:

Recovery... Again!! + Support for Parents !!

2011-06-12T20:47:00.004-04:00

I recently wrote a few posts on recovery, based on a compilation of quotes from different professionals in the eating disorder community. I wrote these posts after a reader asked about recovery from an eating disorder, and whether or not it is possible to fully recover. This, of course, begs the question- what is recovery? And what does it look like? These are questions that don't have a definitive answer, or an answer agreed upon by professionals! Just this weekend, I read an article that was published in the NY Times back in April, which explores recovery. It provides an interesting perspective and one that I thought I would share here for those (like me) who may have missed it. Follow this link to check it out.

Check out the other recovery posts here, which provide different perspectives: #1, #2, and #3.

In other news, Project HEAL [to learn more about their awesome non-profit and what they are doing, check out these posts: Q&A with Project HEAL #1; Q&A with Project HEAL #2] is launching a new parents network that is essentially a resource for parents of eating disorder sufferers in NYC (Thursday, June 23rd) and on Long Island (Wednesday, June 22nd). For more info, check out this link.

Finally, speaking of parents!, I wanted to share a link to a fabulous blog post that I read today, written by my friend Nancy Matsumoto- it has some important tips for parents included! She writes about one of my favorite movies-- Little Miss Sunshine! Mealtime Parenting Tips from Little Miss Sunshine.

Accentuate the Positive

2011-06-07T07:44:00.002-04:00

I may or not have just spent the last ...ohhh 10 minutes googling the phrase 'Accentuate the Positive+ Disney movie' .... And apparently, I'm not the only person who has performed this google search!! It appears that a lot of other people have Asked Jeeves and ChaCha the same thing, and haven't been able to get a straight answer. I am so confused right now. Haha. Anyways, the point is that I have had this song stuck in my head for a few weeks, and the best I could come up with is this video below of Bette Midler and Bing Crosby singing this song together. It is just sooo bizarre to me because I have never heard them sing this song in my life (to my knowledge). I have no clue why, how or where this song popped into my head. I am absolutely convinced that it was played in some movie I watched when I was a kid.. the closest thing to it that I could think of was 'Bare Necessities' which was in the Jungle Book, but that is not it.

Anyways, tangent! The purpose of me bringing this song up in the first place has to do with the power of positive thinking-- and talking. Let me clarify though because I am not really referring to the kind of positive thinking that 'The Secret' promotes... that putting positive energy out into the universe yields positive events, etc. I'm just talking about plain old positivity. How often have you been around someone that is cheerful, positive, friendly and genuinely complimentary of people, and just felt really good after spending time being around that person? Likewise, have you ever been around someone who is negative or critical of themselves or others, and always has a negative comment about something? How does it make you feel?

Over the past few months, I have become really aware of the power and influence that people have to either build you up and make you feel good and positive (not just about yourself but about life in general), or uncomfortable, insecure, and/or self-critical. This relates to body image in that when we fat talk ["my butt is huge", "i can't believe i ate that", "i feel soo fat right now", "that person is so skinny, i'm jealous", "i'll never have the body i want", "that girl's body is perfect", etc..], we are automatically influencing and impacting the people that are around us, whether we intend it or not. While we may just be thinking of ourselves when we make such comments, we are putting others in a position to consider those same questions or concerns that are usually unhealthy and unproductive. It's okay to have a vent session sometimes, no one is perfect of course, but even if for the sake of others, consider the words that come out of your mouth! I think it is awesome that we can use our words to build people up. Pointing out the positive things in any given situation, voicing good traits about people instead of annoying ones :-), noticing beauty of all kinds, being able to appreciate it and include others in it... These are all ways that one person can make a difference. Try it!

The World Has Curves

2011-06-03T07:03:00.000-04:00

What a cool name for a book! Apparently I'm a little late to the party, because this book, The World Has Curves: The Global Quest for the Perfect Body, has been out for about 2 years. I came across it the other day for the first time. It is written by Julia Savacool, who interviewed nearly 100 women in eight different countries to examine what beauty around the world looks like. This sounds a lot like Jessica Simpson's VH1 show, The Price of Beauty, that was on awhile back (I wrote about it here). Anyways, while I haven't read this book yet, I am looking forward to checking it out! Stay tuned for a summer reading list I may post on here soon.

As I've said, while I haven't read this book (yet), I have read a few reviews, as well as an interview that Savacool gave. Below are some snippets that I think are worth sharing!

South Africa: "When you lose a lot of weight there, people immediately start asking if you're sick," Savacool said. The spread of AIDS has caused thinness to be associated with illness. An interesting consequence is that Levi's [denim] have begun selling a special cut of jeans to flatter curvier South Africans; the style is not yet available in the United States (lemondrop.com).

Jamaica: Curves are most definitely embraced, but naturally thin women are occasionally driven to consume high-fat 'chicken pills' in an effort to gain weight. For young women in Jamaica, it's socially essential to have curves as the most popular dance style relies heavily on shaking what you got (lemondrop.com).

It seems that this book might suggest that female body ideals reflect the social and economic climate of the particular culture in question. This is relevant in light of our own societal body and beauty ideals and how we interact with them. It also provides a context for the way in which we view beauty! This is always a good reminder and something to think about, especially when the weather begins to warm up and it's time to bust out the bathing suit!! For more on the book, follow this link.

Celebrate Life.

2011-06-01T09:13:00.001-04:00

I had an experience yesterday that really made me stop and think. I had a free hour in my schedule allotted for lunch, so I sat on the comfy red couch in my office, ate my lunch, caught up on some emails.. and then read a story that both broke my heart and inspired me. I happened to be reading a blog post about a particular blogger's neighbor (blogger in question, Caitlyn Boyle- author/creator of Operation Beautiful)... these two women were gardening in their yards and began talking.. and Tonya, Caitlyn's neighbor, revealed that she was having a 'cancer party.' Cancer party?! Caitlyn thought that this meant that Tonya was hosting a fundraising event to benefit cancer patients/research.. when in fact, Tonya shared with her that she was actually diagnosed one week prior with an inoperable brain tumor. The words of this 32 year old woman, wife and mother of a 2 year old and a 3 year old: "I'm still trying to wrap my mind around things but I feel so positive and trust that God will take care of me and my family. I wanted to throw a party to celebrate life."

At this point in the story, I was getting off the couch in my office, reaching for the kleenex and making sure my mascara wasn't smearing across my face. Apparently she had been experiencing migraines for quite some time, and after going through different medical tests, a tumor was found. Her medical expenses, transportation, and childcare (as a result of the tumor), etc. are beyond what she and her husband can afford. The medical costs could exceed upwards of 100k. If you are interested in reading more about her or donating anything to help her, you can find out more and how to do so here.

I think what touched me so much about this story is that Tonya's response to her diagnosis was to celebrate life. Her attitude is so remarkable in that it is one of gratitude in the face of extremely scary, overwhelming and uncertain circumstances. I felt (and still feel) impacted by her attitude in such a powerful way.. and have been reminded again what it looks like to live a life that is characterized by gratitude. This was also a great reminder to me that we don't choose our circumstances, but we certainly choose our actions, reactions and responses to such circumstances. Our responses reveal so much about our character and who we are as people! One thing that I'm all about promoting is a healthy beauty ideal, and I would say Tanya is beautiful. I love this quote by Roald Dahl- "A person who has good thoughts can never be ugly... If you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely." A good attitude, good thoughts and a smile= beauty.

photo credit: weheartit.com

On this day, I want to celebrate the life of my mother, who is beautiful, lives a life of gratitude and serves others well. Today, consider all that you have to be thankful for and take joy in those things. We are only given one day at a time.. take each day and celebrate the life you have been given.

Happy Birthday Mom !!!

2011-05-28T13:12:00.007-04:00

This post concludes my three part post on RECOVERY! If you missed the first two, check them out here and here. I started this series after a reader asked a question about whether or not full recovery from an eating disorder is possible. I thought it would be interesting to compile a list of quotes from professionals and share their responses!

"As former eating disorder sufferers, Liana and I feel that a full recovery is absolutely possible. We like our bodies, we eat when we're hungry and stop when we're full, and we think about more pressing issues than the number on the bathroom scale. We also think its important that people continue to push themselves in recovery until they ARE at that place. It is very easy to become complacent, but you can be 100% recovered if you fight 100% of the eating disorder. It often takes many years, but it is very possible and very worth it!"
Kristina Saffron and Liana Rosenman, co-founders of Project H.E.A.L.

"Like Dr. Daniel LeGrange said in his article, an eating disorder is someone's Achilles heel. Relapse remains a possibility for anyone with an eating disorder history, and we would be blind if we didn't prepare people for the possibility that the illness could return. What I think gets lost in the discussion--what I don't think gets emphasized enough--is that preparing for the possibility of relapse doesn't mean spending every waking hour fighting eating disordered thoughts and symptoms. Instead of referring to "recovery," physician Julie O'Toole, founder and director of the Kartini Clinic in Oregon, refers to eating disorder "remission." Just like cancer, a person with an eating disorder can have no detectible signs of illness. Other than periodic tests and check-ups, the person lives a normal, healthy, disease-free life. But experience has taught oncologists that cancer can return. We don't need to be afraid of it, but we do need to prepare for it.

I remain optimistic that full recovery is possible in many people with eating disorders, especially if caught early and treated aggressively. I've seen many people turn their eating disorder from a life-consuming illness into a piece of their past. I've also seen happy, well-adjusted former sufferers relapse through no fault of their own.

An eating disorder doesn't just go away. It's not a cold. One bout with an eating disorder doesn't leave you "immune" to further onslaughts. I have friends from high school who have asked me if I was "over it" yet. A chronic eating disorder isn't something you just get over. It's not something you forget about like the stomach flu or a broken ankle. As much as I intend to one day refer to my eating disorder in the past tense, I also know that I need to keep my recovery very much in the present tense no matter how long it's been since I counted calories or could see my thighs magically expanding after eating cake."

Carrie Arnold, a freelance science writer, author, and Psychology Today blogger.

"I consider myself fully recovered from using eating disordered coping thoughts and behaviors to deal with the stressors of daily life. However, I view the experience of recovery itself as an ongoing continuum and think that the purpose and need for developing a personal understanding of terms such as "recovered" or "recovering" is as unique to each person as the path their individual journey will take. I view the debate re: "in recovery" versus "fully recovered" as part personal preference and part pure semantics and think that care must be taken when placing emphasis on the destination rather than the necessary work the daily recovery journey requires (i.e. reining in impatience and recognizing that there is a reason recovery takes time). Personally, my view of "recovery" aligns closely with that of Dr. John Nash, the famous Nobel Prize winning economist/mathematician who achieved and has maintained an ongoing remission from paranoid schizophrenia. I view my recovery as a remission and that is helpful to me in maintaining my health and wellbeing as the years go by."

Shannon Cutts, creator of MentorConnect, author of Beating Ana, educator and speaker.

Shannon's response struck a chord with me because I have often used the same analogy of Dr. John Nash and his remission from schizophrenia, and haven't heard anyone else use that same analogy before! The movie 'A Beautiful Mind' that was made about 10 years ago chronicled Dr. Nash's life and there is one scene in particular that I have used as an illustration with ED recovery that occurs at the very end of the movie. Spoiler Alert!! Dr. Nash is walking through campus, and he is aware of the delusions that he is seeing (different people that are talking to him that don't really exist), yet he does not stop to talk to them or acknowledge them.. he keeps on walking. They don't have an impact on him anymore, even though they pop up from time to time. I tried to find a clip of it on You Tube because it is a really powerful moment in the film and one that makes a lot of sense when compared to an eating disorder. The bottom line- recovery from an ED is possible. It is possible. Have hope and patience, and seek out the proper treatment and support! If you have any questions or comments about ED recovery, please feel free to leave a comment in the comment section or send me an email at MeredithStokkeNCC@gmail.com. Thanks again to all of you who contributed to these posts :).

More on Recovery..

2011-05-24T12:43:00.000-04:00

If you didn't get a chance to read my first post regarding recovery, scroll down or click here to take a look! It is a post that is full of encouraging and thought provoking quotes about recovery. I still have a few more recovery oriented posts that I would like to share with you all, and today's post comes courtesy of Johanna Marie McShane, licensed psychologist, author of Why She Feels Fat, and all around awesome lady. When I asked her what she thought about 'full recovery', here is how she responded- below.

Is there such thing as FULL recovery from an eating disorder?

The answer to the question of whether full recovery from eating disorders is possible depends on two primary things. The first is: how is recovery being defined? The second is: what is the nature of the eating disorder the question is being asked about?

Recovery is often defined in a variety of ways, depending on the viewpoint of the clinicians involved. For example, some people would consider recovery to be achieving and maintaining stable medical health and weight restoration; others would define it as resolution of eating disorder behaviors/symptoms; still others think of recovery as the change in rigid thought and belief patterns inherent in the disorder; while some clinicians see full recovery as meeting all the above criteria.

Characteristics of an eating disorder play a big part in the prognosis for “full” recovery. How long someone has been ill, how severe and frequent the symptoms/behaviors are and have been, the presence of other illnesses, all affect treatment and recovery. In general, the longer the course of the disorder the more difficult it is to treat, as is true for the more serious and frequent eating disorder behaviors and the presence of additional illnesses. However, this is not always the case.

My own view is that the answer to the question, is full recovery from and eating disorder possible, is “it depends” and “it is possible.” I don’t mean this negatively or pessimistically, simply pragmatically.

It depends on all the variables, and on how we define recovery. Here are two people we can use as examples: the first is a 16 year old girl who developed an eating disorder three months ago- she compulsively exercises and restricts her food intake. The second is a 26 year old young woman who developed bulimia about ten years ago- she binges and purges 40 to 50 times a day (these are both real people who I have worked with).

Recovery might look quite different for these two women, right? For the teenager we might have different goals for recovery- perhaps full elimination of her symptoms and behaviors. For the 26 year old our overall goals might include stabilizing her health and reducing the binging and purging to the extent that she can have a quality of life that’s fulfilling for her.

In fact, this is exactly what happened in both these cases. With some intensive and relatively brief treatment the teenager’s behaviors were reduced to zero and she went on with her life, much like if she’d suffered from a bacterial infection and it was then successfully eliminated. The 26 year old worked tirelessly (and not wholly linearly) in treatment for several years, including a few months in a residential treatment program. She was able to reduce her bingeing and purging to about once a day and she remained medically stable. When she left treatment she had been stable for over a year, with the bingeing and purging frequency at about 3 or 4 times a week. She had a full time job, friends, and a repaired and fulfilling relationship with her family.

Are these people “fully” recovered? It’s an interesting question. What might be a more valuable thing to consider is the quality of life each achieved and sustained, rather than whether they meet certain or all criteria for “full recovery.”

And perhaps the most valuable thing would be to ask each how she felt about her recovery. Since I know both these women I can tell you what each said at the time they left treatment. The teenager felt “wholly recovered,” almost as if the disorder had been a “dream” and hadn’t really existed. She was relieved to finish treatment and not need to go to appointments anymore. The 26 year old felt a type of gratitude possessed by someone who has worked extremely hard to get herself out of a situation that almost killed her several times. She knew she still had symptoms, and in fact, that she still met the “criteria for bulimia nervosa” (in terms of frequency of bingeing and purging). Compared to where she’d spent the previous 10 years and where she thought she was going to have to stay for the rest of her life with this illness, she felt pretty darn recovered.

Food for thought, indeed.. Would love to hear any of your comments, questions, or feedback! You can also check out Johanna's blog by following this link. Keep checking back for more recovery posts this week!

2011-05-18T10:07:00.002-04:00

Lately, I have had a lot of conversations that have revolved around recovery and what it looks like to recover from an eating disorder. What exactly is recovery? Is full recovery possible? How do you know when you are 'recovered' or 'in recovery' and is there a difference? Whether these conversations have occurred in therapy sessions with clients, in other public or social forums, or even on my blog, it is a topic that has been popping up a lot recently. When I got an anonymous question from a reader last week about recovery, I thought maybe it was time to explore and discuss this topic here!, especially since it is one that people have varying thoughts about. While I know what I think about recovery, there is diversity in thought that exists related to recovery-- and I think this is an important discourse as it has not been universally agreed upon or defined in the profession.

For a bit of context, here is the reader's question:

"Do you think complete recovery is possible? It seems that a lot of people place eating disorders in the always in recovery/never healed category of mental health. I would like to think it is possible, but, personally, I tend to agree with those who doubt complete recovery. I notice that it takes a lot of effort to not fall into my old ways- I am healthy weight wise, but mentally I still seek control through food."

One of the reasons that I felt compelled to address this issue is because I believe that the way we think about recovery and view recovery can have a massive impact on how hopeful we feel for our friends, loved ones and ourselves who may be suffering, as well as how effective we can be in moving forward. (Think self-fulfilling prophecy- if you don't think recovery is possible, then you won't likely be motivated to act in ways consistent with recovery, and you will probably feel pretty hopeless.) As a fun way of exploring this topic on my blog, I thought it would be interesting to compile responses from people and professionals in the eating disorder field that I highly respect. It is no surprise that I was welcomed with extremely insightful and thought provoking responses. Below are some of the responses that I received to this question that I posed: "Do you think that it is possible to fully and completely recover from an eating disorder? Or is eating disorder recovery more similar to something like remission?"

"I believe eating disorders are a completely treatable brain disorder and that patients can and should live without symptoms if their community, family, and clinical team work together to intervene firmly and using sound science and compassion. I believe we should settle for nothing less than FULL remission of medical AND mental symptoms. But I also believe that the predisposition remains, even if there are no cognitive or emotional or behavioral symptoms. For that reason someone with a history of an eating disorder needs a lifelong relapse prevention plan. 'Remission' is a word that some people misunderstand as meaning the person lives constantly with a battle to be well, but I define remission as fully well with a risk of relapse. I find this way of looking at an eating disorder-- as a treatable brain disorder and not a choice or failure-- very optimistic. I think of recovered patients as having done heroic and laudable work, and then applaud them and their support."
- Laura Collins, author of Eating With Your Anorexic, Director of F.E.A.S.T. (Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders) and parent activist.

"I believe in complete recovery though it may take a long time and require lots of resources and effort, but it is worth it. To protect recovery, one must not jeopardize it by dieting, over exercising, criticizing one's body, but instead focus on developing and supporting a clear unapologetic sense of self. I wouldn't be in this work if I didn't believe in complete recovery. My own recovery solid now for nearly 40 years still inspires me."
- Dr. Marcia Herrin, author of Nutrition Counseling in the Treatment of Eating Disorders and The Parent's Guide to Eating Disorders, founder of the Dartmouth College Eating Disorders Prevention, Education and Treatment Program, and a nutritionist in private practice. She also blogs for Gurze (here) and Psychology Today (here)!

"Rather than use the words 'completely' and 'fully' to talk about eating disorder recovery, I prefer the word functionally. A person is functionally recovered though they still may occasionally have eating disordered thinking (upon which they don't act) or even sometimes eat in a mildly disregulated way. They're functionally recovered when they generally and automatically practice 'normal' eating behaviors and hold a healthy attitude about food and weight.
-Karen Koenig, LCSW, M. Ed., therapist, motivational speaker, and author of The Rules of Normal Eating

"After 35 years of recovery and 32 years in the field treating eating disorders I have no doubt that full recovery is possible. Once I recovered I used my self as an example, then over the years I had many former patients become recovered, then more, and then I started meeting recovered people all over the country and then the world. I am talking about 10, 15, 20 and 30 years of being recovered, not just one or two. Full recovery is possible and no one can take this away from those of us who know that our illness is a thing of the past. Once something like this has really been healed there is no going back. This illness is legitimate but it does also have an element of choice involved unlike, say, leukemia. I will never make the choice to restrict my food, weigh my self esteem or starve myself again. I am recovered and I know it like I know the sun will come up tomorrow."
- Carolyn Costin, educator, therapist, founder of Monte Nido and its affiliates (Rain Rock, Monte Nido Vista and the Eating Disorder Center of California), lecturer, author of Your Dieting Daughter, The Eating Disorder Sourcebook and 100 Questions and Answers About Eating Disorders, and Gurze blogger (here!).

I hope these little 'sound bites' on recovery have been encouraging and thought provoking ...! I have more to post, and will be doing so in the next few days! :)

Who Says??

2011-05-09T22:17:00.001-04:00

Who says I can't be a grown-up and also post a Selena Gomez teeny bopper song/video on my blog? :) I have nothing against Selena, but I feel like I might be publicly ridiculed by a few people I know for posting this (hey, at least it's not Justin Bieber!!). They probably aren't reading though, so it's okay :) Anyways, Selena! She wrote a song called 'Who Says' that has such a positive message about beauty. Then, along came Jessica Bergren who up and made a cool little video to go along with it. The lyrics to the first verse and chorus are below, followed by Jessica's video, which I found compliments of End Fat Talk! Check it out!

I wouldn't wanna be anybody else.
You made me insecure
Told me I wasn’t good enough
But who are you to judge
When you’re a diamond in the rough
I’m sure you got some things
You’d like to change about yourself
But when it comes to me
I wouldn’t want to be anybody else

I’m no beauty queen
I’m just beautiful me

You’ve got every right
To a beautiful life
C'mon

[Chorus]
Who says
Who says you’re not perfect
Who says you’re not worth it
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting
Trust me
That’s the price of beauty
Who says you’re not pretty
Who says you’re not beautiful
Who says

my Selena Gomez "Who Says" video from kathryn Jenkins on Vimeo.

Happy National Mental Health Counseling Week!! :)

2011-05-04T13:30:00.000-04:00

It's probably safe to say that many of us were riveted by the news this past weekend, between a romantical royal fairytale wedding, and the capture of a much wanted terrorist. That might be why you haven't yet heard that May is National Mental Health Month!! It has actually been celebrated since 1949!! Who knew?? :) Anyways, this week happens to be National Mental Health Counseling Week! Why is this important?? Well, according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), 1 in 4 American adults ages 18 and older (26.2% of the population) suffer from a diagnosable mental illness in any given year. I think it's safe to say that given the statistics, we are all impacted by mental illness. Whether we have been impacted personally, or whether a friend, family member or spouse has been impacted (or even both!), the statistics would indicate that we have all likely encountered and been touched by mental illness!

There was certainly a time when mental illnesses were stigmatized (people were actually burned at the stake due to misunderstandings about the way that mental illnesses were expressed).. and while education and awareness still need to happen to reduce continued stigmatization, I think that overall, we have made some relatively significant strides in this department!! 'Mental illness' covers a range of different conditions, including but not limited to anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, obsessive compulsive disorder, mood disorders, phobias, etc! For more information on mental illness, you can check out the National Alliance on Mental Illness's site (here) or you can also check out the National Institute of Mental Health's website (here).

If you or someone that you know is struggling, seeking professional help might be the next step. When people call me to set up counseling appointments, sometimes they wonder or question if they really need counseling. It is okay to be ambivalent about the counseling process. Sometimes the things that prove to be helpful and important for us aren't things that we are initially excited about-- we may have some reservations. Counseling can be a supportive measure that can aid in wellness and health. It provides a safe place to explore symptoms, as well as struggles and life transitions and hopefully provides strength and encouragement for one to move forward in good health. If you or someone that you know is interested in counseling, consider pursuing it! We all deserve to be healthy and well :).

Here Comes Summer... Here Come Fad Diets...

2011-05-01T07:54:00.022-04:00

Today marks the first day of May!! Isn't it crazy how time flies? Believe it or not, summer is quickly approaching, and we are entering an all too familiar window in which people start getting sucked into fad diets in order to prepare for bathing suit season. There aren't many things that I would say truly ruffle my feathers. But one of those things? FAD DIETS!!! :) If you have read my blog before, you have probably seen posts from time to time on diets and dieting (you can check some of those out here, here, here, here...) See... ?? I was being honest- I have a lot to say about this topic :-). For starters, check out some stats on diets..

Nearly half of all American women are on a diet at any given time. source
Two-thirds of dieters regain the weight within one year and virtually all regain the weight within five years. source
More than one out of three "normal dieters" develop pathological eating. One fourth of those will suffer from partial or full blown eating disorders. source

Soo, to sum up.. about half of all women right now are currently on diets. What constitutes a (fad) diet? Anything that promises quick weight loss and generally requires that you make some drastic changes to your everyday diet (aka food intake). The stats show us that fad diets are not effective. At all. Not only do nearly all dieters gain the weight back that they lose, but they often gain back more weight as a result of their metabolisms being manipulated. I also don't think people realize that dieting can trigger eating disorders or disordered, pathological eating!

What compels us to diet in the face of such dismal statistics? I think it comes down to convenience! We live in a society in which we want everything done quickly, ...the least amount of effort and energy required or invested as possible, the better. We live in a short-cut world (which I think unfortunately leads to short-circuiting)! It's not just a weight issue, either- it's a convenience issue. It seems that the cultural majority favors convenience, no matter the cost. Convenience is not wrong, but when it comes with health dangers or potential risk, we are often willing to take the gamble because we simply want to see results. And because of the cultural ideal and unrealistic standard of beauty that is often tied to our body weight, we are willing to do whatever it takes to see quick results when it comes to weight loss.

While I'd like to say that maybe only some of us are buying into this mentality (hey, it's hard not to sometimes, it's all around us!), I have to believe it's the majority... otherwise, the diet industry would not be a booming business. I think we really need to become more savvy about the way that we are feeding into a billion dollar industry when we diet. We are being taken for a ride as consumers, and the industry is playing on our desires to fit the cultural ideal that they are busy perpetuating so that they can continue to profit. Would you believe that according to a recent healthcare market research report published in December 2010 (Global Weight Loss and Gain Market by MarketsandMarkets), the global weight loss revenue is expected to be worth 586.3 billion dollars by the year 2014?? Who is profiting? When such cash is being made, whose best interests are at hand? If diet products really worked, do you think the industry would gross as much money? Now that my friends is Food For Thought. (Check out an article here by Smart Money magazine entitled '10 Things the Weight Loss Industry Won't Say'--it's a pretty good article minus #7).

One last thing that I want to mention is that while the diet industry continues to grow, the number of people in our country that are obese continues to rise. What does all of this mean? Lots of things I'm sure, but one thing it means is that diets and diet products make false promises that seem appealing and effective.. but that don't deliver and can be harmful. It is such a conflict of values and interests that we are often unable to see how we are being impacted. If you are dieting, all I would ask you to do is think critically about what you are doing, and how your body might respond once you stop the extreme behavior (that is, if you are able to stop and haven't developed a more seriously eating pathology). Are your behaviors sustainable? Are they healthy? How are they impacting your body? (Stay tuned for a post on this).

My intention here is not to judge, but to encourage critical thinking. It is important that when we engage in certain behaviors that we are educated about these behaviors so that we can make the best possible and most effective decisions. While I'm sure the majority would disagree with me, dieting is the least effective decision you can make when it comes to food and maintaining a healthy weight. Eating when we are hungry, stopping when we are full, and eating a variety of foods in moderation is a much safer bet. This is not something that is always easy for many of us to do-- for a variety of reasons... If this is the case, perhaps this is what needs examination. I'd really love to hear your feedback about dieting, fad diets, etc. If you are on a diet and disagree with some of my thoughts, I would love to dialogue and hear your thoughts on this topic!